Graywriter Thanks for your essay it provides information (mainly writing is work and more work and it doesn't come without patience and practice). Your added info in the footnotes exposes the reality that money doesn't come easy for a writer. I'm a real amateur, maybe worse than an amateur because I dream about writing, but spend little time writing. Most of my time on this site is spent reading and entering a few contests that don't require too much writing, that is quite pathetic. I enjoyed reading the stories and articles here and wanted to let you know that I enjoyed yours.
Midnight Spirit I really enjoyed reading your poem, in fact I read it several times. I wished I was skilled enough to give you a knowledgeable review. But as an amateur, I can tell you I enjoyed the sound of the words (I read it out loud) and the cadence of the piece. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey.
Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your essay. Since I'm older I think about my life and the choices I have made. I'm just an amateur at writing so my review only includes one suggestion: for your readers that are older a larger print would be helpful. I didn't see any grammar errors and important to me, I didn't backtrack on my reading trying to figure out what you meant. A very pleasant read. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about your boyfriend. Sorry, for your loss and the pain you must be feeling. July 23 my cousin died from brain cancer. If writing helps you with your grief share on this site. Keep writing if possible.
Tiffers Thanks for your poem. Your poem asks a lot of thought provoking questions. I especially like: why we only want things until we have them and the victory and win stanza. I see your portfolio has several entries. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey. Have a Good Day!
Aritsou Your poem is interesting, the theme of vanity and jealousy(your notation at the heading) prepared me for the reading of the poem. These lines stood out to me (1)Dancing to the beat of their souls (2)Their smiles of discontent Your poem is very creative, using vanity/jealousy as maidens. Enjoyed reading it. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey. Have a Good Day!
Lili This haiku follows the 5/7/5 syllable pattern. I read it out loud and liked how the words sounded. Also, great message. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey
Heather - Thanks for posting your story. I'm thinking the one you are reminiscing on has died. Or maybe, it's the end of a relationship. Your story is a somber one describing the pain of a lost love. I like that the story ended with hope - making it out of this spiral. I noticed one typo: lye Have a Good Day! Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey
Max Your poem is a reminder that life gives us moments of opportunity. Sometimes we hesitate, think it over and let the opportunity pass. Mediocrity so safe is a reminder that we can get too comfortable with our situation and ignore the enlightenment that visits the edge of our consciousness. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey.
Lili Thanks for your story. I like your question at the heading of your story, What would happen if a demon was to do some good? I see that Sebastian is your angelic demon. When you mentioned your grandfather's store I tagged Sebastian as your grandfather. Your question is one that can provide lots of stories. Have a Good Evening!
alisony Thanks for posting your poem. I looked at your portfolio and saw two entries. Congratulations,on sharing your work with others. My interpretation of your poem may be incorrect, but that is the fun of receiving reviews. Many reviews I have received help me see alternative meanings for my words. I don't know if you are using symbolism but I found the rain, planning my way home, and the arrow pointed up to the sky very interesting. The mention of rain - is a literal or a suggestion of difficultes? - Planning my way home - a building or thoughts of an afterlife? The pointing arrow a wall decoration or another meaning. Toward the end of your poem, I like the list and for me the mystery continues by mentioning last night's dream. Suggestions: typos skakes, blesings and gladiolas. Spacing-planningmy I enjoyed your poem. Keep Writing and Enjoy the Journey
DurkaDoink - Thanks for your story, yes you did get me as a mosquito wasn't in my thoughts. When the creature elongated his body to slip through the crack on the window I pictured a green, slime creature. The suspense introduced in the second chapter continues throughout your story and keeps the reader engaged. When I read the ending I thought- wonder why I didn't catch on. But those are the stories I like the ones that fool me. I looked at your portfolio and read about your health issues, sounds like you have been through a lot. Thanks for your story.
Thanks for your poem. My comments before I read the Double Etheree note, were generalities, what I liked,how I felt reading your poem. Then I scrolled down and saw your notation. What a difference that made! Following your guidelines, I read it several times. Since I have little knowledge of poetry this is a learning experience for me. Fascinating! Thanks for explaining it.
AJBurchell I enjoyed reading your 50 word entry. I noticed one of the genres you chose is "Mystery." I think this thought comes through with the phrase "the company of unseen currents." The idea is completed when the handkerchief follows the man and lands on his boot. Your choice of the tramp adds an air of mystery. The policeman and tramp are quite the contrast. What the policeman tries to prevents happens anyway. The question is - is this luck or fate? To me there is a lot of symbolism in your 50 words, you used them well, glad I could read it.
Aisha - What a wonderful way to start my morning, reading your article on hope. I don't see anything wrong grammar wise. Your thoughts are presented well and your article is clear and easy to understand. I especially like your thoughts on leaving the critics behind because they are aware of your story. Thanks for your article, keep writing!
Properous Snow - Your poem is great, perfect timing considering recent events. The contrast between the party goers (I'm thinking of the ones in my state(Jack's Bar and Grill) of Missouri and those we honor on Memorial Day create such a strong picture for the reader. Thanks for sharing and good luck (forget luck this one stands on its own) in the contest.
Percy I appreciate your article, read it twice and plan to study it. Your words really hit home for me because I'm a very unstructured poet(an injustice to call myself poet) Like a kindergartener with a fat crayon I create gobbledegook. There are no balls balanced in the air.
Your thoughts on structure,rhythm,and rhyming give me a lot to think on. You are so correct, it's hard work. I own several books on writing poems. When I looked at them I felt overwhelmed, read some sections in the books, but didn't commit myself to studying the craft.
Your article is very good, one sentence in the last paragraph is playing over in my mind, "What happens in structured poetry is that thought can't escape the poet's mind until it meets the criteria of the form." Thanks for the article.
Robin Congratulations on your story. At first glance I thought I didn't have time to read it. I'm glad I did. As a writer, I'm an amateur but I do know when a story holds my attention and reads well. No typos or mistakes could I see. May be my misunderstanding but I backed up on the third paragraph the second sentence "No matter how hard he tried, he eventually puked," I'm thinking no matter how hard he tried not to he eventually puked. Thanks for your story, it's good, I liked it. Keep Writing!
Thanks for your article on the different seasons we experience as believers in God. I enjoyed reading your thoughts, plus the scripture references included in your writing.
As one who lives far from the beach, I enjoyed your childhood memory. Your writing is descriptive enough to transport me to the ocean. Crabs, seagulls, and sand castles a lovely way to place the reader on the beach with you. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
Marta - Thanks for your impelling narrative. Comparing your personal growth to a seed/vine that fights to overcome negativity gives the reader hope to overcome their difficulties. I like how you ended your article. "I am a vine that overtook . . . I am thriving." Keep Writing.
DeeJain - Thanks for sharing your testimony on the power of positive thinking. Your writing may be the incentive to help others who struggle with fear. Providing hope for others is important and your article does that. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
Hillary - Just read your article and wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts. Whether this story is true or fictional it's written in a way that can be helpful to others. The last two sentences allow the reader to speculate on who or what is speaking. If you are living this article my thoughts are with you. Some of my family members suffer from depression. If possible keep writing.
Wishful - Thanks for your story. I checked your portfolio and read your bio. You must be one busy lady. Your story written from the dog's point of view reminds me of a book I read, "Wonder Dog Jim." I like that your story has a happy ending. I'm an amateur writer, so my suggestions are meant to be helpful and given for you to consider and to decide if you think they are helpful. (1) If I overlooked this in your story ignore this: the heading under your title has the info that Chewy is a pit bull, it would be nice to see this info within the story. (2) Look for words that are repeated several times such as "blonde man." I have the habit of repeating certain words too often, that's probably why I noticed this. After I repeat a word several times it distracts from my story. When I read my stories, I start focusing on the over repeated word and lose the story line.
Now I want to encourage you to keep writing. With 3 children and disabled father it must be difficult to find the time. Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
Carolyn - What a lovely poem even though it's sad it ends with a sense of completion and acceptance. I know very little about poetry, but I noticed the composition - the first and last stanza remind me of bookends (on the way and leaving) also, secondary bookends - the second and fourth stanza ("nature scenes"). This order highlights the message in the middle of your poem. I especially like your addition of "A small yellow bug. . ." Keep writing and enjoy the journey.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/joylife1951
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 8:27pm on Dec 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
