I really like the flow of the writing, as well as the descriptive detail. Putting it in the First Person makes it that much more real. I found the ending to be a bit abrupt...it would be nice if it were "tied up" with the same descriptive detail as was used at the beginning.
I thought this was a really neat way to put the anticipation of birth into a poem! If the intended audience is a young child, they might struggle with the word "translucent," but then I don't know what other word you'd use there and it DOES scan very well. I must confess to being disappointed when I got to the end and realized it was the end...I'd like to read more of your poetry.
The sentiment in this poem is very powerful, and has been expressed very well. My personal preference in poetry is for the meter to be a little more steady (some lines have only 3 beats, others 4 or 5) but then again that's just my personal preference- I enjoyed reading this!
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