Title: I honestly feel like the connection between illusions and the person losing control was too loose, but I get it. Maybe "deceived" would have been a better title.
Facility of language (literal and figurative): your facility of literal language was fine; however, your usage of figurative language seemed simple and cliche at times. It was vivid. I simply think it could stand to be bit more vivid, could stand some more sophisticated, simple, yet creative figurative language.
Overall impression: nice emotional recreation. I absolutely love the last part of the last line.
This was absolutely beautiful. If I could find a better word I would. It was so real. I allows one to be the thoughts floating through the head of the hurt one. It was a sort of stream-of-consciousness. Your word choice was phenomenal at times--word usage--i should say. There were a few places such as, "on my silent words he closed his mouth and let fall his face to the floor, and with it a single tear," where I wonder if the wording is intentional. I almost hope that it is, given its unothodox structuring is beautiful. I don't know if you write formally--intend to, or are already published--but I think you should consider it. I have a novel myself and pride myself and enjoy psychological laced writing saturated in deliberate tastefully used imagery, which you have definitely mastered here. I am definintely going to reading the rest of your work and would like for you to check me out as well. (www.jrdewesse.com) My book is titled (To Be Loved: Because it Was Forbidden). It is a story that deals with the sexual identity, the effects of society, religion, family on young boys who find that they like boys. It is a tragic love story to say the least, laced with indescribable feelings, and impliable explanations. Do check me out. And again, this (YOUR) work is HEAVENLY, to say the least!
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