I really liked the start of the story. A beautiful planet with beautiful people. Then the darkness comes in. I liked that too. After that there were so many facts that I became confused an over whelmed. Maybe a few less plains would be to my liking. I enjoyed most of your story, although the ending left me wanting more.
Brrr. That is one creepy story. It kept me entranced until I read to the end. If there is more let me know. Double spacing would make your story easier to read. Other wise I think it was great.
Sincerly, Judy Ball
Great story. I enjoyed reading it. I wouldn't change a thing. except double spacing all the sentences. Keep writing and please let me know when you write something else. Maybe you would like to read what I write
Sincerly, . Judy Ball
Very interesting concept. We all do rely on clocks so much. Some of your word don't fit in the sentence they were in. Like maybe they weren't complete. Made me think and that is a good thing.
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