I have teenagers - I liked this very much. I liked the run-on sentences giving the thought process the momentum. If I could suggest anything, perhaps making each paragraph consistent with your use of punctuation or not (not a big deal) - and check your typos. They are a little bit distracting. Keep up the good work!
I wanted to point out a few things that I thought were a distraction - '“Pearl, I’m hungry,” the miner stated to a lump directly at his end of the hall beside the door where he now stood.' The use of 'lump' worked well later on when describing the miner, because of the assocation with color, but I was distracted trying to figure out the first reference on the first reading.
'He knew that she was being empowered for a coming conflict.' Perhaps feeling empowered, or becoming empowered, but I was a littlce confused - being empowered told me she was getting this from the husband, who had been pretty calm up to this point.
About the miner -- his character had not displayed any edgy behavior at this point, even kissing the wife on the cheek. I was distracted somewhat by marrying my image of the miner kissing his wife on the cheek with the child's fear and detachment indicating previous abuse, coupled with the name calling from the parents. Maybe the miner should not be SO calm coming in? Forget the kiss, maybe?
I thought you did a great job conveying the child's emotions. I related well to this piece; it pulled me in.
Speaks of some vulnerability and draws the speaker in. The dialogue feels a little contrived. I can't help thinking that I should know more about the man - why should I want him to be happy? I learned a lot about the woman - nothing about him.
Love or obsession? Hmmm - love is more giving. Obsession more taking. Not quite there for me to be memorable.
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