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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/k5rakitan/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/39
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6,022 Public Reviews Given
6,022 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm the lead editor for a small independent press, but I am on maternity leave for the next several years and thus not accepting submissions. I'll tell you my professional opinion on first chapters or short pieces and whether I would have accepted it or rejected it if I was looking for work. I've dealt most with controversial speculative fiction, and I'm most interested in polyamory a.k.a consensual non-monogamy.
Favorite Genres
Science Fiction, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Romance, Dystopia, Erotica
Least Favorite Genres
stream of consciousness
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Novels, Fraternal Polyandry
Public Reviews
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951
951
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I'm glad you are still concerned about overpopulation. Many governments these days are concerned about our population decreasing because it would supposedly be bad for the economy. What they really mean is that the elite rely on the working class to maintain their opulent lifestyle. Without a marginalized class to make the working class afraid of having no job at all, the elite would have to pay the working class more.

Try avoiding forms of the verb “to be” such as am, are, is, was, were, etc. This is known as passive language. Using more colorful verbs can greatly strengthen your writing. To hook readers, it's best to show the character in action rather than lost in her thoughts. The sentiments presented here can be woven into her backstory later.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
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Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

952
952
Review of poem  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

These are some lovely thoughts. I've been too wrapped up in adulthood to stop and appreciate things like this, but now that I have a child, I stop to see things through his eyes more often.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

953
953
Review of Just a dream.  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This brings back a lot of memories for me. It takes time to conquer the fear, but once you do, the world opens up.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

954
954
Review of Delusional  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

955
955
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

956
956
Review of My life, a diary  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

957
957
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

958
958
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (2.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Is this meant to be a test piece or a placeholder? I recommend drafting your story in a separate program such as MS Word, Open Office, or Google Docs and then copying and pasting it when you are ready to share it.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

959
959
Review of The Haunted Night  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was an interesting piece. I also find the choice of the name Karen interesting due to internet memes about her. This sounds almost like an origin story about how she became the way she is.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

960
960
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start!

Try avoiding forms of the verb “to be” such as is, are, was, were, etc. This is known as passive language. Using more colorful verbs can greatly strengthen your writing.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

961
961
Review of Frail  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This feels like the first few months of the pandemic. I think we all felt trapped back then.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

962
962
Review of Feeling the Fall  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was an amazing poem that brought back some memories of my own experiences.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

963
963
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This reminds me of mornings in middle school when I would wake up early for 0 period choir. Now I'm over 30, and I'm lucky if my toddler lets me get to sleep at 3am instead of 5am.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

964
964
Review of E- letter  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a beautiful, inspiring sentiment. However, it is difficult to live through one's soul with an exhausted body. Difficult, but not impossible.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

965
965
Review of Irvine  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start!

The grammar could use work. If you want a more in-depth look at sentence structures, I recommend reading "The Elements of Grammar" by Margaret Shertzer.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

966
966
Review of Untitled  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start, but there's not much to go on here. What's happening here? Is she giving birth?

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

967
967
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start! I've never gone hunting, but it is something that appeals to me for the sake of connecting with my evolutionary heritage. However, at this point in my life, I'm going to stick to breastfeeding my son until he's 3-5 years old and showing him which berries are safe to eat because that's also part of my evolutionary heritage. He picked two low-hanging oranges today!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

968
968
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is very informative. I've been dealing with a close family member who wouldn't get help, so I started therapy for myself, and after a month, he finally reached out and started getting help. I think it is particularly difficult for men to seek help because many were taught not to show weakness while growing up.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

969
969
Review of Red and roaring.  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a delightful description! It makes me want a cherry tree for my back yard.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

970
970
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is handy information. It could be even more compelling if you told a story about someone who used these tips.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

971
971
Review of Finding the words  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This simple poem conveys a lot of meaning. Personally, I have a more difficult time finding the words in the moment, when I am under pressure. I like having some quiet time to think. We all have different preferences when it comes to communication.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

972
972
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

That was a very riveting story. The last sentence added an extra sense of chill.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

973
973
Review of hard to breathe  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

I think my husband has been experiencing this for many years. He's finally getting some therapy for it, and I started my own therapy about a month ago because these sorts of things take a toll on relationships, especially when you have a toddler and can't do all the sweet couple things you used to do together.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

974
974
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing your experience of this beautiful piece of art. I enjoyed listening to some vinyl as a kid. I don't recall being particularly drawn to the Beatles, though I'm sure my parents had some Beatles albums that they played at some point. I was mostly interested in hearing my mom's solo in her choir during university or high school.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

975
975
Review of Beauty  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a pleasant piece full of heartfelt emotion. I feel much the same about my first love.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Not Just Another Brick In The Wall  (ASR)
Most teachers are amazing, but sometimes . . .
#2281472 by K5Rakitan

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