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Review Requests: ON
6,044 Public Reviews Given
6,044 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I'm the lead editor for a small independent press, but I am on maternity leave for the next several years and thus not accepting submissions. I'll tell you my professional opinion on first chapters or short pieces and whether I would have accepted it or rejected it if I was looking for work. I've dealt most with controversial speculative fiction, and I'm most interested in polyamory a.k.a consensual non-monogamy.
Favorite Genres
Science Fiction, Historical Fiction, Fantasy, Romance, Dystopia, Erotica
Least Favorite Genres
stream of consciousness
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Novels, Fraternal Polyandry
Public Reviews
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1376
1376
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1377
1377
Review of Nuggets of wisdom  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start! It has me intrigued, but I think it could help to have an example or two.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1378
1378
Review of test  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (1.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Is this meant to be a test piece or a placeholder? I recommend drafting your story in a separate program such as MS Word, Open Office, or Google Docs and then copying and pasting it when you are ready to share it.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1379
1379
Review of Grime and Bumble  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

You've painted a vivid picture with your words. I was completely immersed in this fantasy world.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1380
1380
Review of red  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1381
1381
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I've often heard it said that beauty cannot be appreciated without death. If we all lived forever, what would be the point of living?

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1382
1382
Review of The Mutant  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start. I like the use of second person here. It immerses the reader immediately.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1383
1383
Review of Truth  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (3.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

“The truth was a mirror in the hands of God. It fell, and broke into pieces. Everybody took a piece of it, and they looked at it and thought they had the truth.”
― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1384
1384
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

This reminds me of a story I read about parents who gave their 2-year-old up for adoption when they learned he had autism. The parents were not prepared to provide the extra care their child needed. It was an open adoption, so they could still see their child on occasion, but they were still judged harshly by their family members for their choice.

Personally, I have a toddler, and I think I'm doing a good job parenting, but parenting is still very hard. If I didn't have a supportive husband and other family members, I don't think I could do it alone. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I believe that now more than ever. I've heard that open adoptions are becoming a lot more common, and adoptive parents appreciate it when the biological parents babysit often.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1385
1385
Review of ASLEEP  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is very touching. Thanks for sharing these deeply personal thoughts. Writing about these things is a great way to process your feelings and let others who have had similar experiences know they are not alone.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1386
1386
Review of That Chair There  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thanks for requesting my review! I've been reading a lot of books to my 1-year-old son lately, usually the same ones over and over. I keep books by the bedside, and when he's drinking my milk, he gets bored, pauses, and grabs a book for me to read. When I finish a book, I put it on my tummy and say, "That's the end of the book." Sometimes, he grabs a different book, and sometimes he wants me to read the same book again. It's good to read something fresh!

The rhyming works out well, and you have a nice rhythm to it. Books with a good rhythm are fun to read aloud, though they tend to get stuck in my head just like a song.

I think that first-person books are best for after the kid learns to read. Imagining reading aloud a first-person book like this to my 1-year-old seems strange, so I think this would be great for new readers. I would like to get my son reading on his own when he's three, but that might be too ambitious.

Personally, I would be more likely to go to a thrift store if I needed a new chair. All of our books are either used books or gifts. For selling new books to more affluent buyers, having Mom go to a store that sells all chairs makes sense.

The consequences of stepping over the line are too unrealistic for my sensibilities. I think it would be more realistic for the kid to get hurt by a power tool being used by someone unaware of the kid's presence. All kids (except the rare few who are physically incapable of feeling pain and rarely live to the age of 25) understand what it means to get hurt, at least in small ways. We use the word "hurt" every time our son loses his balance and bumps his head. We use "hurt" when we notice signs of teething. We use "hurt" when he gets his shots or has blood drawn. I tell him that he hurts me when he bites or grabs my nipple. Books are a great way to talk about more serious injuries that may require a hospital visit.

I am also concerned that the mother expresses no concern at all over the loss of her kid. This would be acceptable only if it was stated that part of the consequences for stepping over the line included being erased from human memory. Otherwise, the mother should be frantically searching for her kid and calling the police when she fails to find her kid.
1387
1387
Review of Bella  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is very sweet. My childhood dog passed during my first year of university, and there were nights when I also felt that she was with me.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1388
1388
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was a great start! You created a mysterious aura around Albina Zhafaria before the narrator actually met her, and then you built her character in a way that really drew me to her.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1389
1389
Review of Beren the Bear  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

You've painted a vivid picture with your words.

I wasn't paying attention to grammar, but I did notice one typo:
"She grabbed it by its leather wrapped hit"
Hit should be hilt in this context.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1390
1390
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (3.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Is this meant to be a test piece or a placeholder? I recommend drafting your story in a separate program such as MS Word, Open Office, or Google Docs and then copying and pasting it when you are ready to share it.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1391
1391
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is quite an interesting set of emotions, though I have trouble understanding the feeling without more context.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1392
1392
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I've never been into sports, so I may be having more difficulty following this than other readers, but I'm sure the fans love it!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1393
1393
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I find that it is important to hear from people who think differently from the way I think.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1394
1394
Review of Zombie apocalypse  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great start! I like how you start off with action. Keep up the great work!

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1395
1395
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This isn't a personal fetish of mine, but I am glad you are writing about what inspires you. There's a lot of chemistry between your characters :)

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1396
1396
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a great concept!

Try avoiding forms of the verb “to be” such as is, are, was, were, etc. This is known as passive language. Using more colorful verbs can greatly strengthen your writing.

Formatting tip: when writing on the internet, add a blank line between paragraphs. It's standard practice and easier on the eyes. Indentation is used in books for economy of paper, but since paper is not an issue on the internet, we use an extra line.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1397
1397
Review of Rain  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

I've always had an appreciation of rain for this exact reason. You put it into words very nicely.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1398
1398
Review of Married Today  
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

Honesty is very important in marriages, and a lie by omission is still a lie.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1399
1399
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This is a lovely piece. I used to drink a lot of tea, but then I had a baby, and I became afraid of spilling hot liquids on him, so I only get to drink tea when he is napping or when someone else is watching him. My husband offers me a cup of tea whenever he makes one. I usually drink chamomile these days because too much caffeine would reduce my milk supply. The same goes for too much peppermint. My favorite tea is Numi's Dry Desert Lime, but I don't drink that often because it is expensive.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

1400
1400
Review by K5Rakitan
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome! I stumbled upon your work through the “read a newbie” feature.

This was very whimsical and romantic.

Formatting tip: when writing on the internet, add a blank line between paragraphs. It's standard practice and easier on the eyes. Indentation is used in books for economy of paper, but since paper is not an issue on the internet, we use an extra line.

Happy writing, and I hope you enjoy it here!
I am also running a contest in case you are interested:
 
FORUM
Lewd Poems Contest  (18+)
Monthly contest for people who find joy in lewd things.
#2250133 by K5Rakitan

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