Dear Gracelin,
Firstly, welcome to the group! I’ve had a look at your first chapter only for the time being, but will hopefully get around to reading and reviewing the later ones soon. I’m really enjoying your story, thank you for sharing this.
General Disclaimer: My reviews reflect my honest opinions, but are always given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. Please feel free to take or leave any points that I raise - it is your work after all! Having said that, I really hope that you'll find this review helpful!
 Overall Impression:
I thought this was a beautifully written piece, and a good first chapter for your romance novel. It was very fluent and easy to read, which always helps!
 Strong Points:
There are many great things about this piece. I’ve already commented on your style above, it’s all very readable and clear.
 I really loved the setting, the southern states in the middle of the 1800s. You describe it so clearly and gracefully, and as a reader you really took me back there, with the fires, carriages, plantations and slaves.
I thought that the personality of your main character came through very well, and she was very consistent throughout. Being such a proper young woman could make her boring, but the fact that she breaks out and even punches a few strangers in the face of danger show another side to her. I thought she was a great character, and one that I would be happy to accompany throughout a story.
I like the idea that the mysterious man already knows her from somewhere. It makes me think that the plot is going to thicken soon! You have kept this very subtle by noticeable in his reactions, which was very skilfully done!
I also really liked the ending of this chapter. It ends at a logical point, but you’ve left the reader with some important questions (not to mention that you’ve left Crystal in a whole lot of trouble!). All of this really made me curious to read on, and find out what on earth happened to June, would her parents find out, and most importantly, what will she do about her love life, which has just been turned upside down. Definitely a good question to start a romance novel with!
 Points to Think About:
My main warning about the plot is that you may be drifting into too much of a cliché with this. She’s the beautiful daughter of a rich man. She’s engaged to a good man, who would be a perfect match for her if only she returned his feelings. Then she meets the mysterious stranger, who even safes her dignity, if not life. He then saves her again by taking her home. It’s quite predictable that she’d fall for him. He even has the black stallion, on which he rides off into the night…
All of that made me think immediately that I can see where this is going… I’m not sure what to suggest, apart from surprise the reader a little!
There are also a few minor points that occurred to me, I’ll point them out below. I hope you don’t mind, I don’t mean to be picky, just helpful. 
 When Crystal speaks for the first time (“But June, surely you realize…”) she sounds good and proper as always. You’ve just made June sound all rebellious and adventurous, so while Crystal is completely in character, she actually sounds like the more “boring” of the two. At this point I found myself cheering for Jane more than for Crystal, which is a bit dangerous seeing that Crystal is the main character. It’s just that first impressions are so important. By the end of the chapter this isn’t an issue anymore at all, as by that point I thought June was a terrible friend and felt quite intrigued by Crystal!
When you describe the fact that she’s engaged to be married to Charles, you have a whole paragraph of narrative. This is crucial information in this story, and just stating it all like that seemed somewhat clumsy. I thought that perhaps you could make this part of the conversation between June and Crystal, that June teases her more about Charles and make it clear in the conversation that this is the only reason why Crystal agrees to go.
The following paragraph (“It was the mention of Charles that made up her mind. Etc.”) seems repetitive, as you’ve made all that clear in the passage that came before. I’m not sure if it’s needed at all.
When she’s waiting for June, and looks back at the house, you wrote that there was no movement at all. That seemed inconsistent with the wind you described in the very first paragraph, and the hunting cats in the next paragraph.
When she is as the Place de Negres, you write that “The smell of sweat and moonshine invaded her nostrils.” I’ve found this confusing, because I thought that either you can’t smell moonshine, or I don’t know what it is. If it’s something that you can smell, like a spice, then perhaps this should be clarified.
When she first decides to go home, she briefly goes to find the wagon. However, she seems to give up on this search in a heartbeat, and it’s unclear that she’s given up and what she’s going to do next. Wouldn’t she want to ask June where Free is, so she can get back?
When the man attacks her in the forest, he drags her away and she claws his face. While I really liked the idea of her defending herself, I couldn’t picture how she’d manage to scratch his face while he’s dragging her into the woods – the way I pictured the scene, he was facing away from her. I think this could be easily clarified though.
Not long after she’s climbed into the tree, she falls asleep there. I can absolutely see what you’re trying to do here. You’re trying to pass some time. However, I found this quite unbelievable at this point. Her surroundings are very loud, and more importantly, she’s incredibly worked up. I really didn’t think she’d fall asleep then. I also wasn’t sure about her falling asleep in a tree wouldn’t she have fallen out?
When the stranger asks to take her home, she seems to see a lot in his eyes. With this being a romance novel, I think you get away with some of this. But she seems to see many things in his eyes that seemed unrealistic to me, such as his ability to think fast and react even faster. I don’t think you need to describe that here, you can keep that for a time when you can “show, not tell” this. That is, if you haven’t done so already, because by the time you reveal that he was the man who saved her earlier in the woods, we already have a better idea of who he is.
The stranger takes her home, which works out nicely for poor Crystal of course. A simple practicality that occurred to me here is how he knows where she lives? If she doesn’t tell him, and he knows because of his prior knowledge of her, then why doesn’t she pick up on that?
 Structural Notes/Typos:
Please note that any examples I give or suggestions that I make are only to illustrate my point – I’d never try to suggest that “this is how it should be”!
 The title is “Place des Negroes”, but in the text you refer to it as “Place de Negroes” – I’m not sure which is right, I just wanted to point this out to you.
In the second paragraph, you slip in the tense a little. The conversation with June was even further in the past, and therefore it should be: “June Allian had planned this..” and “she had first heard from her cousin…”
”She rubbed the bridge of her nose, wondering for a moment if she did it long enough, would her freckles there eventually disappear?” (question mark)
“The night was quiet, and the sound of her footsteps against the wet ground was unnerving, echoing in the quiet silence.” I’d just suggest a different word to avoid using “quiet” twice in the same sentence.
“… hearing a fowl foul squelching sound as she moved”.
“… realizing why Charles didn’t wouldn’t want her here in the thick of these lowly, uncultured people.” I just thought that “wouldn’t” would fit better here, because as far as I’m aware, she had never discussed this with Charles, and is only assuming that he doesn’t want her there.
”Let go of me!” Crystal yelled, as she struggled with the man.”
“Slowly, (comma) she pulled open the gate and turned back to him.”
”She stood there for a long time, hoping he would come back, and at the same time wondering way why she hoped such a thing.”
 Final Comments:
I hope you don’t mind me being so picky with this piece and pointing out so many minor things. Because that’s all I think they are, really. I think that it’s a very good chapter, and I have enjoyed reading it a lot! As I said above, these are just my opinions, so please feel free to disagree with them! I just hope that you find at least some of this helpful.
I’m really looking forward to reading your next chapter of this! Thank you for sharing this, keep up the great work and definitely write on!
Best wishes,
- Jules
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I think you meant: ‘Uncle’ stooped to scrabble at my toes. (i.e. single quotation marks)
This is only a very minor point, and not important to the story itself. I liked that you explained some of the cultural terms, however, some you explained by using floating notes in the text, and others you explained via the use of footnote. I don’t really think it matters much which you use, but consistency might be better, as I kept wondering if there’s a difference in them.
I haven’t noticed a single typo or punctuation issue, and all sentences were very clear. Excellent writing! 
This is a tiny point, but the indents at the beginning of your paragraphs are inconsistent. The first paragraph starts with only a small indent, and the fourth has none at all. This has of course nothing to do with the story itself, I hope you don’t mind me being so picky!
