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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kahleigh
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Review of Separation  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
I like the whole idea of this poem and the peacefulness of it. There are some lines I like, like "At times the bindings start to fray, and I start to panic" and "The air is raw tonight". Try to stay away from cliches that are over-used, such as "So close, but yet so far", "But we could be miles apart" and "Know that I am always there for you".

I like "Me, drifting, a balloon" because it's original.

Try to make every line count something towards the poem and not just put them in there.

But there is great potential. All the best!!
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