I really enjoy the character development that's already taking place! The characters of Bryce and Gina are coming through very dominately. It's a great start, and I really liked the opening.
I found that the crime scene opening, while a little cliche, caught the attention of the reader, and the "dump job" pun added a bit of a twist to the norm. I think you could probably strengthen the opening a little more, however, and maybe detail the crime scene a bit more- not so much to be gruesome, but enough to entice the readers...
Id really like to see more of this...great work, and good development!
-Jessica
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kaidamei
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:42pm on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
