A fairly charming read. Very easy to relate to. The pacing was alright; not too slow, not too fast. The writing wasn't too flowery, and the word choice was good.
That seems like a lot of cats, though. Certainly not as many cats as other people can have, but still.
That was a neat little story. Pretty fun to read, even if I saw the ending coming a mile away.
The banter between Mike and Roy was entertaining. The repetition of the word "obsolete" was effective.
And, in my own opinion, I liked how you only gave the DTH-6 a minimal amount of personification, despite being fairly humanoid. Believe me, that's not a back-handed compliment: I genuinely appreciate that you side-stepped a brooding exploration of what makes an advanced AI different from a human mind and "Isn't it wrong to destroy something that has human thought and emotion?" That kept the story relatively light-hearted and easy to read through.
You set up the scene fairly well. The hunting lodge sounds like a nice place. I'll be honest, though: You seem to use "self-pronouns" (I, my, me) a lot. These are unavoidable in a first-person narrative, of course, but I think the story would be better served with some more description between each instance that you re-situate the character in your story.
It's a sweet story. I'm a little curious as to how old the characters are when they originally began speaking, though. Ru, seeming to have an office job, can't be younger than twenty-one. Myra, though, is a bit of a mystery, though; it appears she's beholden to her parent's whims.
It's understandable that you'd withhold their respective ages for the purpose of the plot, of course.
The use of pseudo-homonyms is effective; while it is difficult, at first, to figure out what Buck is talking about, it is not hard to connect the misheard words to the actual diseases and disorders. Zuska-Atkins felt like a bit of a stretch, though.
The spelling and grammar seem alright. The pacing of the few story-lines I've read feel a bit off, though. A lot of the chapters are very short; it makes things feel a bit disjointed, to be honest. I understand by the nature of an interactive story, though, that that wouldn't really be your fault.
That's certainly an interesting personification of Grief; I probably wouldn't have thought of someone like him. I'd have pictured something more like the Grim Reaper, who was more specter than guardian, honestly, but I like your quiet, compassionate one better.
An excellent guide for the uninitiated internet denizen.
A lot of these are fairly common-sense, to be sure, and fairly obvious to most people who've used a computer for some amount of time. However, items like these aren't FOR those people; these are for the newbies.
It's always helpful to offer guides to newbies, especially ones as concise and thorough as these.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 11:41am on Dec 24, 2024 via server WEBX1.