There is much going on in this poem, but it isn't so much the content that I would like to review. I never liked hearing this when I was writing poetry, so I will try to say it in the flattering way in which I mean it. This poem reads like lyrics from a newer Indie rock band. That is a great thing. The lack of definite form, coupled with some of your amazing rhyme choices would fit into many songs. I saw no definite chorus, of course, and I do not mean to say that this poem would have to be a song, but often when I wrote personal rhyming poetry, even poetry with the "aabba" rhyming scheme, I would hear the same types of reviews. The only criticism I feel I could give would be the third from final line. I feel that you might rather write, "Makes folk forget" or "Make folks forget" but poetry is an expression of one's inner self, and if you like the line as it is, then disregard what I say. I'm sorry I didn't review the content of the poetry, but I feel as though you have a strong grasp of the vernacular and rhyme scheme here. If my review wasn't helpful then let me know and I will take another look at this and review it again from an entirely different angle. Thanks for the read and best of luck with your writing!
Nice usage of eight syllables from beginning to end and interesting language. Some stanzas are vividly put together. A bit difficult to fall into, however, portrays the comedy that was intended well. Overall, this was a pleasure to read and left a smile on my face.
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