This poem speaks volumes of a friendship, lost. It is sad, poignant, and makes you wonder how much a person that you have relationship with can distrust over rumors. One wrong word shouldn't change a person's view of your whole relationship. I would rather not walk apart in daylight's truth. I would break the stranger's lies.
This is interesting, scary, and reality for a lot of teens. I find the humor at the end beautiful and endearing. I am sure the boy in the story will probably never go into anyone's home again in the middle of the night. The police showing up in the middle of the night has got to be a game changer too. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Wow, this is so relatable. I actually have lived these feelings and words. I lived this for six years before a friend did me a favor and set me up with someone else. I love that you were open enough obviously to experience a love that was unconditional on your part, even if it wasn't reciprocated in the way you wanted or needed it to be. This poem just really shows your heart is beautiful in a way that most peoples' aren't.
Hi, QueenNormaJean. I enjoyed reading this short story. It has a lot of different emotions from Carly to your own character. I love the humor at the end. I also love the description of the storm with the birds flying backwards. I can envision that in my head and it made me laugh out loud. I have a few suggestions. When writing use the same tense in the same sentence. I noticed that in the sentence, So I wait and dried off, wait and dry should be the same tense. I also notice a lot of sentence fragments. I look forward to reading more of your writing. You have a great sense of humor and obvious emotional intelligence. Thank you.
My daily goal this week is just to log in on writing.com, post something new, and engage with people here in any way possible each day. I love to read other people's writing and review it. I hope others feel the same way. I welcome each person here to read and review my work. I love the input. I am like NUMBER 5 and am very alive! I need input! Thank you! Have an stupendous weekend!
Hi, Caleb. First and foremost, there is no right or wrong way to write. The idea of just checking in each day is fabulous! I have been really trying that myself, now that I spent the money on a paid membership for the year. That was a birthday gift to myself. Don't ever regret looking backwards. The past is how you became who you are in this very moment. I look back often and wonder what I would change. I have a lot of random thoughts in my head. I should probably spend my time on hear writing those thoughts and being my most true authentic self. Instead, I hide a lot of myself. I usually have no filter though. My honesty can horrify even me sometimes. I am going to take your lead on it though. I am usually bad at follow through as well. Yesterday, my goal was to try to do the daily five tasks, which I didn't realize there was a tracker for until I reread a newsfeed response from about a week ago. The first two times, I just glanced at it. I completed all 5 tasks to get the community badge for it, before rereading the newsfeed post about turning the tracker on. I did not get the badge even though I completed the tasks, due to not turning the tracker on until after completing the tasks. Today is a new, fresh start, a new beginning, and a new challenge to follow through. I hope to read more of your thoughts. They are who You are. That is one of the greatest things about writing. You can be yourself or anyone, anyplace, anything. I also love the built in tools here, such as the spellcheck that you used. Keep thinking, keep writing, and sharing!
This is interesting, emotional, and provocative. I feel the energy between the two people in this short story. The love that flows through them in a brief shared moment is so intense, yet gentle.
I can feel the bittersweet agony that the man feels. The sad sweetness. I can relate to this. The road not chosen can be beautiful, yet tragic. I hope to read more of your writing. Thank you for sharing this.
This poem created a feeling of laughter and sadness while reading. You use your words well creating a vision that people can see and feel. Thank you for sharing. The world needs more laughter and vision like this. The message of positivity is really needed, especially during the holidays.
Thank you for sharing your love of music and writing. Your passion for both shows in your words. I love both, myself. I am a fan of Prince and have been since my teenage years. I had a poster on my bulletin board of Prince wearing a white ruffled shirt with a rose between his teeth. There are days that I wish I still had that poster. I love the way you referenced his emotions that he shared in his music and the fact that his music still impacts people today. The ending two lines gave me goosebumps while reading it.
Good afternoon. I appreciate the information that is included in A Symphony of Green. I grew up on 52 acres including 2 ponds, woods, fields and streams. Most of the trees on the connected property are now gone. It has changed the beautiful view and allowed for a lot of erosion. The animals have been displaced that were once in those woods. I think that as a society, you speak eloquently and accurately about the responsibility belonging to us as the human race. I currently use paper products and will be using real plates in the future to start minimizing my carbon footprint. I appreciate the time that you spent writing this piece and hope to read more informational pieces by you in the future.
This story is short, sweet, and to the point. Everyone should read this and know the confidence it takes to not care what others think. Too much time and energy spent worrying about others' opinions can really take a toll on a person. Thank you for sharing this story. I love the inspiration! The positivity of this story is awesome!
Well written poem. I like the imagery and the way the words flowed. I also felt as though I could understand the flower and could feel the same way at times. Thank you for sharing.
This is a beautiful and well written informational piece. I enjoyed the imagery in your writing. I feel as though I was there seeing what you were seeing. I love the work ethic of a bees. I love the beauty of the earth. I was informed by one of my children that you can help with the bees by taking old, grated cheese containers and wash them out, put flower seed in the containers and then take them with you and sprinkle the seeds out wherever you are. This will allow flowers to grow in random places to help with the population of the bees and the job of pollination. Last year, I had 3 of the shaker containers, one for me and one for each of my two grandsons. We would take walks and sprinkle the seeds along the way. Thank you so much for sharing your walk with the bees, Dave and of course your dog, Ziggy!
This is a tough poll. I like it! It honestly makes you think before answering. It is a question for the books honestly! It is one of those questions that will most likely never be answered to our satisfaction. Thank you for posting it and challenging my mind!
I am sorry for the death of your father. This poem shows the intensity of a parent and child's relationship. I believe you have expressed this sentiment in a very unique way. I recommend that you let your poetry flow through you in just this way in the future. It lets the reader understand exactly how you felt at that moment. Thank you for sharing! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kima2z
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:25am on Jun 03, 2025 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "