I was glad to read your essay. What we do and/or do not believe is important to God ...faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. We cannot pick and choose what we want to believe about God. We either believe Him or we don't.
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life; and no man comes to the Father, but by Him. He (Jesus) is the door/the gate to heaven, to the Father. He who comes in by any other means is a thief and a robber.
Thank you for responding to the question posed in the Spiritual Newsletter.
Hello, ridinghood--p.boutilier. I am pleased to present my review of your poetry entitled:
MY PERSONAL COMMENTS FOLLOW:
Title - I found your title most appropriate.
Point of View - Obviously written from the author's point of view, as the poem speaks with authority.
Diction - Diction is consistent and effective. The only word that gave me pause was "quotidian" as at first it didn't flow smoothly off my tongue smoothly, and I had to look-up the definition.
Imagery - Your images are effective, causing reflection upon how the Lord often uses our sleep to speak and/or bring clarity to issues that may effect us when awake.
Rhythm/Rhyme/Cadence - The cadence is soft-spoken, staying nicely within the chosen format.
Structure - Stanza form and line breaks are appropriate to the Monotetra style. I found no punctuation or spelling mishaps.
Theme - This piece evokes a holy reverence for the spiritual capacity of dreams in keeping with its well-chosen title.
Final thoughts - These are merely my comments. Whether or not you agree or disagree matters fractionally in comparison to my hope that I have encouraged and provoked you to even better writing. It has been my pleasure to read, rate and review your writing. Write on!
Once upon a time there was a joyful little boy. Every day he made his parents smile with his antics, merrily playing with friends, toys and his puppy. One day, it was raining and he had to play inside. All of his friends were busy too; so he played alone. But that was okay because sometimes his toys came alive and played with him. Because of that, he had fun despite the rain.
While his mommy and daddy were busy doing grown-up things --- paying the bills, working, cooking and cleaning, he played. Until finally, his mommy called him for lunch. After that, the rain stopped and the sun came out again.
So he went outside and played on his swing-set with Tommy from next door until the sun went down. By Maria Mize
Congratulations on receiving the 1st place award for this piece on "Freedom of Speech." I live in the USA; and it was interesting to read your views of what is going on in The Netherlands in this arena.
I put "free speech" in the same category as "freedom from discrimination in the workplace." Both are "good ideas" not often applied with integrity in any real sense.
Excellent. I found this piece very informative. Though I have a Twitter account, I think I only "tweeted" once just to see what it was like.
I read the entire hash-tag link within the article and found it amazingly sad. We can be so quick to judge others...
I find direct communication is less likely misinterpreted----but it cannot be "documented" either. So when someone is offensive on the telephone, for instance; the offending person can deny the conversation ever happened.
Well-written. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Seuzz.
I found the music of your life interesting and uniquely informative.
The One Direction song, "What Makes You Beautiful" as performed by The Piano Guys and "Angels We Have Heard on High" by The Piano Guys reminded me of a harp. I never before thought of the piano as a type of harp. Beautifully, spectacular.
First suggestion: Consider being more mysterious with your title and brief description.
Second suggestion: In keeping with my first suggestion, remove the words "ivory and ebony" and find a suitable replacement. I find "ebony and ivory" in terms of piano keys a little over-used. Instead maybe say:
graceful curves
contrasting white and black
hide the magic
of the soundbox
Also consider removing "of the" in the final line above and end this stanza with simply: "hide the magic soundbox."
Finally, consider removing any extraneous words throughout your work to add power and dimension. For instance:
wires stretched taut
over eighty-eight strings
with high notes mirroring
sound intensified
...or something to that effect.
I enjoyed learning a little more about the piano --- always an instrument I wanted to play.
I think I would call this a squib (a small firework that burns with a hissing sound before exploding) since it's so short, yet packed with beauty and depth.
My favorite phrase, I think: ...the bursts of periwinkle light illuminating gossamer wings and gentle secrets. And quite iridescent, was ...each heart shimmering with armor.
Each and every word frolicked past my senses in Silver Forest.
Sadly beautiful, I enjoyed this collection, L.M. --- the raw honesty of your words, as well as the presentation (rhythm, rhyme and flow). I found the striking simplicity paralleled with strong emotion both captivating and satisfying. I wasn't disappointed.
I am glad you are here and look forward to reviewing more of your work.
Ross, you may want to review and edit this significantly. First off, I noticed the word "passed" should be "past." Second, check for redundancy of wording as you seem to overuse some words quite a lot.
Check presentation and spacing, organizing your work for appeal and clarity. It looks like you accidentally italicized some of the text as well.
How very kind of you to write this for Rhonda. I was pleased to read it.
Minor Suggestions:
There is no way that I can comfort you or heal your heart that has been so badly cracked Here you are missing a period. Also, consider removing the first "you" and "that has been." This might better read, "There is no way I can comfort or heal your broken heart."
There are a few places where you do not use punctuation --- and other places where you do. Take another look at your work overall, editing, perfecting and also checking for punctuation consistency.
Thank you!
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