Very nice!! The greats would be proud, squeezing so many in there while keeping the poem flowing and relevent. I always find the aspect of 'good' more difficult to write from, coming more from a place of sarcasm and over-analysis.... but I always love reading positive and uplifting works!
Great start!! I was very impressed, the story had good flow, was well worded, brutally honest, and throughourly enjoyable. I love the honesty of the childs Impression of life and the and the development of what seems like a heavy case of ocd. I can't wait to read the rest!
I liked it alot. I think this would be a good peice to expand, perhaps delve into the mental issues surrounding this, before during or after. I think it could turn into a really good, much longer story. You have a very nice writing style.
I really loved this piece. "The remarkable thing is that fact can sometimes be so strange that it is dismissed as fiction, so the writer does not have to disguise it in any way." is one of my new favorite quotes, as well as “Oh, not that kind of comedy, young man. Dramatic irony, comedy without the laughter, the absurd". I think it was wonderfully written, the wording painting a picture. I also love the end (and both of those movies) and how everything ties in together. I do not think it was too long by any means, and in fact would enjoy it as a longer story or even a movie! I have no real critique for you, as I saw no flaws, though I have no real credentials as a reviewer(though a movie critic would be my dream job.) I am, however, an avid reader and movie buff, so hopefully that counts as something. Thanks for this very enjoyable story!
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