Nice poem! You should try to capitalize your "I" and work on punctuation. Overall I enjoyed the suspenseful build up to the "Ball circling the rim super fast" and "the deafening roar of the crowd the buzzer sounds". I like how you said "turn up" at the end. It added a lot to the poem. Keep writing Zaeeeeeeeeeeeee you rock.
I think this was an interesting poem. I thought about it in a few different ways. At first I thought it was just about someone with a broken heart and all that cliche stuff, but then the second and third time I read it, I picked up on a few key points of the format. The first line of the stanza alludes to being buried in a coffin of some sort, and the second line gives reasoning. I really liked that because of the few poems I've read, I've never seen a format quite like that.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kingk58
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:14am on Nov 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
