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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kirbyfan1996
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89 Public Reviews Given
89 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Shannon's Secret  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is certainly an interesting premise. The innocence of childhood is something that seems to be forgotten by too many people. It seems like a feel-good story when someone in a position of success is there because they were able to maintain the memories and experiences and use them to build their character.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Zimmerman Walked  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Law and justice. The press hyped this case by infusing the arguement of racism long before the court case began, going as far as to doctor a 911 call to make Zimmerman appear to be a racist. Were Zimmerman not half white, this case would have been largely ignored. The media decided that George Zimmerman was guilty because that verdict would advance their interpretation of equality. The media, however, is neither judge nor jury. The prosecution was unable to prove that Zimmerman was guilty of any criteria that would have violated the "Stand Your Ground" law. Still, this whole situation, without a doubt, is certainly a tragedy for all parties involved. The death of the young Martin with his whole life ahead of him is certainly something that must be grieved. However, lost in all the media attention is the fact that the law was upheld in due process, not mob rule. Violence is not the answer, only understanding and remorse. Due process, though highly contested, once again prevailed.

As to your work itself, your poem was very well written. Though it seems a bit one-sided, it still acknowledges the viewpoints of the other side. The content is presented in a manner that draws in the audience and holds them in long enough for the words to be read, heard, acknowledged, and understood.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This interactive is a very good place for many different types of transformation. I like the open prompt that allows the story to go in so many different directions. The grammar seems to be a bit disordered on some parts, but, for the most part, this is a creative and mistake-free item.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I find this interactive story excellent. Its leniency in what can happen offers a variety of stories that I enjoy.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I think this introduction is very strong. It drew me into this world, and it makes me want to read more. The length may be a little on the short side; a little more detail would do wonders for this work. Separation from the actual work may prove a bit annoying to some people who just want the work in one piece, so I would recommend merging this prologue to your bigger work.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This song does a great job in showing why Christmas is so powerful. It isn't merely an occasion to spend money on stuff people may not actually need, but it is truly an important time to bring awareness to the good that human beings can and will do.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
This piece seems like a guy just endlessly ranting about the way things have changed in the world while doing absolutely nothing to combat it. There are plenty of people I can hear the exact same thing from. I think this is better classified as satire instead of something that is actually comedic and funny.
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Review of Corrupt-A-Wish  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love the endless posibilities of showing what people want to wish for and how it can go wrong. It's absolutely hilarious to see exactly how even the simplest wish can go wrong, let alone the more complex wishes. Really loose rules allow this to be open to everything, a great plus.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Looks like a cool place. I'll certainly be checking up on this forum frequently, and I'll definitely look forward to finding some cool stuff around here. Hope this forum remains strong, and I bet many more Writing.Com members will be posting stuff here.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I like the look of this interactive. It has the potential to develop much too a much further state than it currently is. You seem to be doing a good job in promoting ideas for the story, advertising it with GPs, and adding to other interactives. This piece is on the right track.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This item has potential to blossom into a much larger interactive than it is now. You, the author, however need to make more story ideas in this thing and develop them in order to attract writers to expanding this thing to the popularity levels it can reach.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this poll to give insight on why we love or hate Halloween. However, it feels like there are way too few options. One thing I'd like to see: Halloween Night Football. Did you see the Steelers-Saints game the past year? Yeah, I'm asking too much, but I'd like some more options.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.0)
No Scooby-Doo? No Tom & Jerry? No Flinstones? What are you trying to pull here? I only voted because I wanted to see the results. Honestly, I do not see a true poll here. Just add some more items and people will think more highly of this poll. Right now, honestly, it sucks.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Very little plot in this piece. I see the potential of a more powerful message, but the idea of this thing seems to have been squandered. In addition, it seems like you have something against Michelle Bachman, pinning her as an idiot among the crowd. This drives away a considerable portion of the reading audience, not the best thing for any piece.
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Review of The Animal Within  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Interesting prompt, but it just has too few chapters. With a few good chapters to spark imagination and some contributions to various interactive stories, this will probably increase in popularity exponentially. Right now, though, some of your own ideas must be added.
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Review of Trick or Tweet  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
An apocalyptic world based on technology beyond 2012... this is a unique story that has made me consider how dangerous the Internet can be and will be in the future. It also says something about big government, clearly saying how having everything completely the government's can cause more troubles beyond the issue of freedom v. safety.
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Review of The Dream Door  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I find this piece realy captures the innocence of childhood and the greatness of it, too. It takes people back to the days they were worried about the Boogeyman and everything else in the dark. It also shows the power of light in a child's life. Reuly a great piece. Did it win that contest?
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a very interesting piece that probably will make it to publication. It may become a best seller withing a few months of publication, perhaps. Still, though, the last paragraph of the first part of the first chapter, although intended as humor or a hook, may well repel some people.
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Review of Blossoms Maligned  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Excellent piece of work that in showing the love story of the two main characters. Still, though, the title seems a bit farfetched for the actual story. Additionally, it seems anticlimatic to tell the ending before the climax. This could stand a chance of being published, but a little editing would help.
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Review of Three Tokens  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very elaborate. The beginning is engaging enough for the most wandering mind to pay attention. This teaches a lesson in many senses: the most obvious being do not make deals with the devil. It also shows how powerful the devil can be. The only confusing thing is when this actually took place.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a beautiful recounting of a childhood Christmas. It captured well the eagerness of children on Christmas morning and the innocence and curiosity as well. This is a perfect piece to get into the holiday spirit for all of us who haven't experienced this.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A great introduction and hook to a real published novel. This immediately draws my interest into the book. This excerpt captures the scene of suprise and innocence of children while subtly reminding readers that adults seem to lose the desire to explore the surrounding world.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very informative (shall I say it?) article about this part of the wine industry. I had not known of this before I read this. It is cool to know a part of the wine industry. This is a good promotion of Australian wine and may induce people to invest in this.
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Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Um, this is a bit too lenient of a story. Also, this gives hardly any substance for potential plot. Additionally, The title definitely needs to be reworked. I also came across a chapter with an offensive word which should make the prompt ASR or 13+ and not E. This piece definitely needs a lot of work.
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Review of The chameleons  Open in new Window.
Review by Kirby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is exactly what people must do in order to find the perfect person. It seems like this hardly happens in real-life, only in stories. However, this is an important thing to realize when thinking about a future together. Looks often fade away, but the soul is always consistent.
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