Love it, can't stop laughing. I think this is the funniest story I've read on a long time. I think we've all been in a situation similar . . . maybe . . . and only to find out the truth in the end. people fall over themselves laughing. Don't stop writing.
This is an interesting story so far, I like the characters and want to read more about them. You give nice details to put the person into the story, we can see and feel along with your characters. . . I will keep an eye out for the next part. also looking for more of your works to read.
Wonderful, you have tapped into everyone's wish to do something no one else can. And to put in the one thing that can and would trap you if your not careful. I will head to your portfolio and read some of your other things, if they are as good as this . . . I can't wait.
This is a great opening for a story and will move further in . . . but I thought you would like to know . . . in the second paragraph there is a typo.
Nothing major.
Dan had her his mom say something about
Or Dan had heard his mom say something about
Like I said just a small thing.
Am going to move in now.
Keep writing.
Beautiful, I love it and enjoyed being able to see what you wrote. You tell a great story and are not over the top in places that need to be kept light. you have the talent to write and keep people enthralled. Don't stop writing keep up the great work and I can't wait for more.
This is beautiful and painful. We always see past the obvious and try to find a more detailed thought or reason or way to do something.
I think your story is great and couldn't stop when I'd started. The detail is great and I could almost see the man running home for the sign. I felt sorry for the dog at the end??? is that normal? well you did a great job.
Great idea, what will happen . . . well it's up to me to come up with something good. You have done a great job coming up with the story line so far and hope it is followed through by people. Is there a way to read the whole story as one when it ends. I wouldn't mind seeing what others came up with.
Oh dear, you are able to do what I found almost impossible when being taught in class. The story is there but made into a certain pattern that changes it. Thank you for the note at the end explaining how a Aquarian works. I like this and will give it a try later.
Keep up the great work.
Wow . . . when I started to read this I pictured my sister. She is trapped in a world that I can't help her from. She asks for help one minute and the next she tells she doesn't need any. even ending up in hospital isn't enough to break the false image she imagines is her live. If only . . .
Thank you for writing this.
Great idea, will the powder really work the way he wants it to. will it make his wishes come true for him or end in a nightmare that he can't ever change.
I love the idea of having others let their imagination fly and see where it goes.
I will return and pick one and see where I can take it for myself.
Thank you
I love this idea, she could be on the verge of an amazing adventure, or about to be drawn into a life and death chase for something. Who will be around to help such a lonely and shut off woman. I will return to add my thoughts to this line.
But which way will I take this pawn of misery . . . looks like I've made up my mind before I start.
I really enjoyed your story, the characters jumped off the page and you could almost picture the changes in her skin. I can't wait for more, please let me know when it's up.
I did enjoy this, but just one thing.
At the part where you add a chapter, is it possible to have info on things like
Is Miles a boy . . . silly I know but by the time I got to adding my part . . . I'm sure male but to be sure . . . I didn't put a gender.
Do you know how hard that is.
Anyway, I had fun and will look in from time to time to see what's happening.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kishaliam
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:02pm on Nov 21, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
