Suddenly, the tide pulled us out to sea
Eventually the sky grew dark and a storm appeared on the horizon
I wonder if you were to change around these two words (Suddenly, Eventually) if it may not be better.
Eg: Eventually the tide pulled us out to sea, surging to and fro with the swells; the mist of the water caressing our faces. The warm breeze felt refreshing on our lightly wet skin; a sense of renewal washing over us.
And" Suddenly the sky grew dark and a storm appeared on the horizon threatening our solitude with chaos.
(This may literally happen naturally.) As a storm can come up suddenly maybe it's because I live in the Caribbean. It's also believeable. Suddenly may also mean it can happen in the blink of an eye.
Eventually may mean that it can happen after some time, for instance five to ten minutes. Or as waiting for something that may seem forever but only lasted five minutes.
Even if this is fiction or from a dream.......using the weather in it's natural way of action makes it real. The rest of it come over real. The story if fine just for this change, unless you want to make changes along these words.
This story bought tears to my eyes and remind of the relationship I have with my mother. She's not sick or anything but our communication is strained unless she's finding fault.
I must say this story have more to it, it's not finished with that last sentence " My hand was steady on the wheel".
PS: please continue the story. Did you tell your mom etc
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