Very nice. I love that you gave this a mountainous, country setting. By the way that this was written, I can guess that this night "between the sheets" was something that was taboo... especially since they stayed together so long. Often great relationships have started the exact same way. Thank you for sharing this piece here, keep writing!
This was interesting, it almost to me sounds like a Native American dialogue, tracing from animal to animal. One thing that I have to suggest is maybe change the wording on every other line, and I am speaking about those that say "Do you hear that?" you're posing a question, but with the same words over and over it becomes repetitive. Just a suggestion, I don't mean to make you mad or criticize too much. Have a wonderful day!
This was very nice, I enjoyed it because not many people do stop and think, much less write down, how much love that someone has for them. Its wonderful that you did and this is a wonderful way to thank your husband; with a nice little writing!
Very nice. To me, it gives a feel of someone being in love with someone, but not able to show it (i.e. the other person is with someone else, is far away etc) and it gives it a very real feeling, a burning desire perhaps. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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