i can paint a really clear picture in my mind and i see that, for the most part, it really flows well. not really choppy and i just think this is a good poem. great story to. good job
its a really well put together poem and like the difference in it with the store part and i can clearly paint a picture in my head so it has really good imagery. good job
i can feel the emotion in this poem and can understand what you are saying. my only stipulation is that you maybe split up chain linked fence so that its not jumbled together. but i enjoyed this poem and the format fit well. this poem is a poem i can relate to
i dont think that some of the periods should have been there. and i would have liked to elaborate more with some of your thoughts. and i dont think that it should really end in an exclamation point. but i can relate to the fourth line.
this poem doesnt flow well. some of your word choices sort of shouldnt have been there. i think that differnent word choices would have been better... and this poem doesnt really grab my attention
i think that this is written well but some of it sort of doesnt flow together... when i read it, its only a two second read. i wish more was in this poem so it can grab my attention better. but i reallly like the format you chose.
i enjoy the way this poem is written but the first word isnt too great of a hook and i would like to know who 'he' is. dad? brother? cousin?but i can feel your pain and relate to this poem even though ive never dealt with something like this before.
this poem makes me feel what she felt and see what was happening. i really liked that. i can relate to what this poem is saying even though i have never dealt with something like this before. this poem may be short, but gets to the point and tells you a story in an interesting way.
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