This Is A Review By Krystxn * Remember, Everything I Write Is Just My Opinion. Feel Free To Listen To / Ignore Anything I May Say
Hello, bandicx  ! My review will be broken into 3 categories: My First Impression ( What I think before I read ), My Thoughts While Reading ( Self Explanitory ) and My Suggestions ( What I think you could change / improve ) I hope you find this review helpful! Let's read, shall we?
My First Impression: First thing I ask of everyone ( you're not the first, trust me ) is that they click on the double space paragraphs box before submitting work. It truly does make it easier for people to read 
Also, I notice that your middle paragraph takes up the majority of this and, even without reading, I'm sure it can be broken up into smaller ones for easier reading. I will give you suggestions further on in my review.
Okay, sorry there is so much to say here Just because I wrote all of that doesn't mean your writing is bad. ( I haven't even read it yet!  ) So I will read to let you know what I think 
My Thoughts While Reading: I thought this was a very good, classic story of revenge. I think it needed a little work but we're all here to improve on our writing, aren't we?
I LOVED your names, by the way!
I didn't really see the end coming, you caught me by surprise there! I should have known ...
My Suggestions: I have a few suggestions for your story:
running free until one night,  running free. Until one night,
 I think that a new sentence should start here for effect.
the children excitingly said yes in chorus. the children excitingly said "yes" in chorus.
 Quotations added because characters were speaking.
the children scrambled and ran to their homes(,) but one child remained.
 I added a comma in this sentence so it flows better.
hear that story I know it’ll hear that story. I know it’ll
 Put a period to start a new sentence.
 Okay, here is your biggest paragraph, cut down into smaller paragraphs. I have also bolded any spelling / grammar things I suggest you change:
Among the clans, the first to fall was the Warsong Clan because all the three other clans knew the threat of this ferocious clan, so they all agreed to eliminate them first. Outnumbered, the Warsong fell, their houses were burned down to ashes and all members of the clan, regardless if it was a woman, a child, old or young, were murdered. The heir of the clan, Ligmus, survived and escaped along with the clan’s champion, Arithmus. They escaped to the mountains and hid there for several years. Ligmus was only a child then, a 12-year old, who has seen it all, the cruelty of the world and how his parents died in front of him. Arithmus, being the most skilled warrior of his clan asked Ligmus, “Your highness, don’t you want to avenge your parents? The Warsong Clan?” Ligmus in a trembling voice answered, “But how Arithmus? I’m weak and don’t know anything about fighting.” Aritmus answered “I shall train you my lord! I’ll make you the greatest warrior this forsaken land can never have!” Because of the hatred and the will to avenge his parents, Ligmus accepted the offer of Arithmus.
Arithmus used his knowledge and experience in fighting to train Ligmus. Day and night, Ligmus struggled with nothing but only his flaring will to have revenge. Years have passed, Ligmus turned fifteen, despite is age he was now as skilled as or maybe even better than his mentor, Arithmus. For three years they stayed hidden among the thick forests of the mountains and after all the training and plans they made, they decided to go down to their homeland, Hambal, and start executing their plans.
Ligmus saw Hambal in ruins although there were still some houses left, his rage and anger covered him seeing is homeland. Wandering around the streets of Hambal, they asked the refugees some questions about the war and they were told that the Darknin Clan won the war and is the current ruler of the land. Arithmus told Ligmus about the Darknins, he said that according to his informants, the Darknins were the ones that convinced all the other three clans to eliminate them first. Knowing this, his mind and heart was focused on one thing; the downfall of the Darknin Clan. Walking along the streets of Hambal, Arithmus and Ligmus heard several war drums not so far away from them. The sound of war drums means that there was an assembly to announce something or to notice the public. Arithmus and Ligmus headed towards the sounds and saw many people crowding. A warrior sounded the horn and started talking,
“We gathered you here today to tell you that the Darknin Clan is looking and hiring brave and skilled warriors to fight and defend the great clan!” The crowd started murmuring, “Silence!!” the warrior shouted. “Anyone who is interested in joining, just come to the Darknin’s war circle by dawn tomorrow.” And the warrior left. Ligmus asked Arithmus what was that war circle the warrior was talking about and Arithmus told him that it’s a circle wherein only two warriors can enter and they will fight to death to gain the right to enter the Darknin’s horde. Arithmus told Ligmus that they should enter the horde so that they can carry out their revenge against the clan.
Ligmus agreed and by dawn the next morning they went to the meeting place and saw many warriors that also went there to have a shot in joining the clan’s horde. They were asked to write their names in a small scroll and the one they will fight will be done in lottery. Before the fight, all the warriors were separated from each other and were just called if it’s their turn. There were seventy two great warriors and so far twenty four has won and lived to join the horde. A warrior shouted. “Ligmus! Into the circle!” Ligmus entered. “And his opponent! Arithmus!” Ligmus was shocked and was so confused of what to do. Inside the circle the mentor and the student faced each other. Ligmus said, “Arithmus, I… I can’t do this! You are my mentor!”
Arithmus answered, “My lord, this is for the Warsong and it’s my honor to be slain by your sword.” But Ligmus refused to fight so Arithmus started striking him so he would fight back. Ligmus fell down and was about to get slashed by Arithmus, but Ligmus stabbed him first, Arithmus bled and looked at Ligmus with a smiling face and uttered. “Ligmus, for the Warsong.” As Arithmus fell to the ground, Ligmus was declared the winner. The incident made Ligmus more determined to get revenge. The thirty six warriors who passed the test were hired as warriors of the Darknin horde.
Many other countries and clans tried to conquer Hambal(,) but they were repelled by the horde. The clan noticed the great skills of Ligmus which in all his battles led the horde to many of its victories. Later on(,) Ligmus was promoted as the general and champion of the clan. The strategies and fighting style of Ligmus made the Darknin horde popular and feared across the lands and most of the countries feared the clan’s power. Despite the glory and blessings Ligmus was getting, his anger and hatred towards the clan never faded and as the time pass he was gathering warriors and supplies to aide him in his plan to destroy the clan. Many warriors went to his side knowing the greatness and skills of the general who can win any battle. Because of the glory Ligmus was giving to the clan, the clan leader decided to marry his beloved daughter, Andora, to Ligmus.
Andora was so beautiful, any warrior or man that sees her falls under her spell. Andora was also trained to be a great fighter of her clan but because she was a woman she was never sent to the battlefield. Upon meeting Andora, Ligmus fell in love with her, with what Ligmus felt for her, he almost forgot about his revenge and hatred against the clan ‘til one day when he was patrolling the streets of Hambal he saw an auction, so he went there to check it out. He was about to leave when the auctioneer shouted, “The next item is the sword said to be the sword of the great Arithmus of the lost clan of the Warsongs!” All the memory, the hatred and anger went back to Ligmus; he bought the sword and used it. He promised that he will avenge his parents, Arithmus and the Warsong.
Ligmus returned to the clan’s fortress with a determined soul to carry out his revenge. On that night, the moon was red as if it knew the bloodshed that will broke out. Ligmus assembled all the men who joined his side and told them the plans and strategy. On the west side of the fortress Ligmus’ horde was very much prepared for battle, they stayed hidden among the trees like hungry tigers waiting to take their prey and waited for the signal of Ligmus. On Ligmus’ signal the men charged towards the fortress like hungry cannibals. The watchmen of the fortress saw Ligmus’ horde charging towards them and they sounded the alarm. The clan’s horde assembled on the west gate and prepared for the raging warriors of Ligmus. As the clouds covered the bloody moon, the two forces collided.
Blood was spilled everywhere, shouts of anguish echoed throughout Hambal, cries fiercer than the wolves were heard. Many lives were taken away but Ligmus triumphed and his forces advanced towards the fortress. He ordered is men to burn every single house they see and let no one from the Darknin live. Ligmus went to the clan leader’s room for revenge wit no hesitations to kill, he had slain all the guards and in the room he saw the leader and his wife trembling in fear. The leader begged, “Ligmus! My friend! Our great general and champion! Please spare our lives, we will give you anything you want, money? Land? Anything just tell us.”
Ligmus shouted, “Can you bring back the lives of my parents you and your men killed?! Can you revive my lost clan, the Warsong?!” when he was about to slash the leader and is wife a warrior stopped is blade using his own sword. Ligmus and the warrior fought but Ligmus is just so skilled and he killed the warrior then stabbed the leader and his wife. He beheaded the warrior who fought on par with him and raised it across his man who was then shouting and celebrating their victory. As he was raising the head; a long blonde hair fell from the helmet. Ligmus removed the helmet so that he can see the face of the warrior whom he killed, as he dropped the helmet, tears fell from is eyes; the warrior whom he killed and beheaded was Andora. Because of that tragedy, Ligmus went to the forest wandering and now fifty years have passed, still no one knows where he is or if he is still alive.
saw the child cried saw the child cry
 Remember to watch your tenses. Since you are telling a story of something that happened in the past, everything should be in past tense. I tried to fix as much as I could, but you may want to go back and change it. If you are having trouble, please see this link: http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verb-tenses.htm... It gives a very simple explanation.
Also remember that each time a character speaks, you must start a new paragraph. Unless there are other words between the dialogue.
Overall, this was not bad, but it was not perfect. For now I give it ...   3.5 Stars. That's not too bad But there's always room for improvement! So Keep Writing and Keep Learning!
I hope you found this review helpful,
Krystxn * WorkingOnStargazer !
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