I love the structure of the poem and the imagery you first created in only one stanza - how it flows beautifully throughout the whole poem. You describe what it's like to be in front of a class for the first time so precisely - how nerve racking and often terrifying it really is. As a reader, I feel you express this wonderfully - you don't dwell on the negatives, but rather focus on what the students are learning, and what hopes you have for the future. As a (new) pre-service teacher from Australia, I can relate to this very well from personal experience!
I love your style of writing; it's easy to follow and leaves you wanting to continue reading.
I wish you all the best for not just your future writing pieces, but also for your future teaching experiences!
Thank you for the lovely read :)
A very deep and heart-felt poem; I love the emotive language and the use of rhetorical questions - I feel a deeper connection with the poem.
Keep going with your writing; I like where you are heading with your style, and it will be great to see where it takes you.
I wish you all the best for the future!
This is great, the plot is very good and the "feel" of the story is wonderful; very descriptive. I noticed the odd mistake, but that is ok; still very good!! =D
I noticed that you are asking for some suggestions? Would you mind terribly if I offered mine?
Perhaps her and the sister could fight over this man? Or they make a bet to see who make make him fall for first, maybe? I don't know.... Just a random thought.
I also thought maybe some paragraphs would be a good idea? It gets a little difficult trying to read it as one huge block, sorry.
Well, as a whole, it's great! Thanks very much for the read and I'm looking forward to reading more!!
Thanks again, and please keep writing! =D
~LadyRose.
You have a lovely technique with your writing, it's different; refreshing. This particular poem is sad, it's always hard when we loose someone, whether it by their choice or not.
This piece is good; short, to the point. But it also gives the reader a sense of wanting to read more. Perhaps an extra line or two as a suggestion, if I may?
Welcome to WDC by the way, I hope you'll enjoy it here =]. It's a great way to meet new people, to explore and try new things. I hope you will like it here every bit as much as I do.
Thanks for the read, and keep on writing!
~LadyRose
This is absoulty wonderful!! =D
Hardly a mistake to be seen, well done! You defaintly belong here, you have an amazing talent, please keep writing!
This story was very dark; spooky. Just in time for Halloween!! (Samhain), hehe. Nice touch with the Timber Wolf, I must say; good choice!
With work and pieces like this, you could enter comps. Try your luck and talent =]
Anyway, this piece is stunning, looking forwad to the next installment!
Wow, this is really heartfelt and sad. Just from reading it you can tell it was really painful to have gone through that. I kinda' reminds me of what I have written in some of my pieces; dreams, love, pain, heartbreak.....
Anyway, it's a really good poem, I don't really see anything wrong with it, expect for the odd spelling or punctation mistake. But it's still great, well done on such a fine piece of work!!
Wow, this sounds so romantic!! He sound really dream-like, the "almost perfection" guy. I do believe in "love at first sight," but to an extent. It's never happened to me, but hey, I'm still young. But you are right, what doesn't work isn't/wasn't meant to be and what is right, will always find a way. You'll find the "right one." Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually; I believe we all do/will.
Nice writing by the way, it's great except for the odd spelling or punctuation mistake, but apart from that, it's very well written. Great work and keep it up!!
This poem is so inspiring!!! It's great! You sound so optimistic and positive about it all, like it's just a small speed bump in life; you try not to make a huge deal. I know some people who would try to make it out as the worst thing on earth, but some just try to shrugg it off and learn to accept it; learn to deal with it and try to go on with life. You've been through so much, but you are still an inspiration! Back to your writing, I don't see anything wrong with it, except for the odd punctuation or spelling mistake, but everyone makes those; mistakes I mean, I know I do all the time.
It's awesome, keep writing and don't let anyone say different!
This is really great!! It's so dark and gloomy. You really capture what you are trying to make the reader understand, and that's awesome. Keep going with your writing, you have a talent!!
~LadyRose
-Sorry the review was so short, the poem was too good to say much about, it's just awesome -
Whow, this is amazing, and so, so deep. This is fantastic; heartfelt.
I can relate, especially to this line - "I am okay with you not loving me. But I am not okay with you not even noticing a thread of love i have for you which I have sowed into my emotions and crystalized in my thoughts." - That's what gets me the most. It's amazing, I love the way you worded it. Wait, I love the way you worded the whole poem.
Apart from the odd mistake, it's wonderful.
Well done on such a heartfelt poem!
This poem is amazing, I can totally relate. I love how you described the broken heart - my new heart broken, bleeding in pain - those words just fit perfectly. Same with the wanting to change, it wasn't them that changed, it was you. Like I said before, I can really relate. You are very talented and have a way with words, you capture what is intending to be captured wonderfully.
Well done on such a great poem! Keep writing!
Oh my goodness, this is.... Wow. I don't think I've read anything as deep as this, I think. It's so heartfelt and sad! It's a great poem! If that really happened, and that was how you really felt, goodness, how did you cope?
Back to your writing, it's great, congrates on such a great piece. Well done!
Wow, this is so amazing!! I really love reading about vampires, and I loved your approach to this piece, very traditional and dark; the perfect recipe for a poem about vampires.
You really capture the feeling that you are looking over the shoulder of the vampire, in a way. Very descriptive.
It's awesome, so keep it up!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lady.c.rose
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:39am on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
