I wish I had some constructive criticism for you but I honestly can't think of anything that detracted from the story, maybe after I read it for a couple of hundred times or so I will manage to find something that could be better but for now...
Not once did I feel anything was out of place, all of the characters felt real and you understood that they all had their own take on the situation, even the characters mentioned only once or twice made their feelings known without seeming to be over-sharing. I loved that it flowed through the scene breaks without letting up momentum but also without cutting too quickly.
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