LOL! That's priceless, and very cute. I love the summary under the title. It really drew me in before I even started reading the poem.
Welcome to Writing.com, and I hope it's everything you want and more! If you ever need help with anything, don't hesitate to ask. I may not be a Preferred Author or a Mod, but I still know my way around WDC.
How beautiful and touching! I think I know exactly how you feel. All in all, it was a lovely poem, and there are only a few things I'd change...
Punctuation: You did pretty good, but for the parts where you trail of with '...'s, it's best to use the same number of dots every time. The average is 3 dots.
Capitalization: Some poets don't capitalize anything, just as part of their style, but maybe you should try capitalizing.
Spelling and Grammar: I could only find one spelling/grammar mistake that really stuck out:
i will let go and i will be striken to the ground
I'm not quite sure how to fix this, so I feel horrible pointing it out without a solution, but perhaps you could find someone to help you with it?
Very wonderful poem! It's definitely going in my favorites.
You were right when you said everyone's felt this before. I know I have. Thank you for writing this poem. I like it a lot, though I would like to point out one line:
"blessed ist though I loveth"
I'm not quite sure what this means. Could it possibly be a typo?
Regardless, the poem was enjoyable and well-written. I loved the part about only being with her in your dreams.
I love this poem SO much! I can feel your passion shining through, and it's very obvious that you love this girl. The rhyming was unusual and interesting, and gave the poem a nice flavor.
I hope to read more of your work in the future! Feel free to e-mail me with any new (or old) poems that you'd like reviewed. I especially like poetry. ^_^
Though it may sound horrible and biased, when I first clicked on the link and saw that you were a Mod, I thought, "Oh, she's probably got a ton of reviews and ratings and doesn't need one from me." Then I noticed that you have no ratings, which means no reviews. How is this? Is it possible that Mods are people, just like Black cases? Lately I've had this truth thrown at me, whether I like it or not.
So first, I'd like to apologize profusely. I was very wrong in my assumptions. Second, I'd like to say that this piece of writing is very well-written and interesting. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and, if you don't mind, will suggest it for the "Invalid Item" forum.
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