I like that each paragraph begins with "I give thank". There is power in these three words, in this order. When "I" do something, it is very personal--"I" is an expression of the essence of our existence.
When you "give" you are being selfless, which is noble and kind.
When you give "thanks" you are expressing gratitude for what God has brought into your life, which is, in my opinion, a key part of worship. A heart of gratitude engenders a worldview filled with wonder and delight.
I always enjoy reading about faith. While it is very personal, it is also very vital--only by sharing our faith with others is the Great Commission fulfilled.
The pacing of this story is excellent. You provide enough detail to contextualize the plot. The characters are interesting and I would like to know more about them. The challenges that face political leaders are as old as civilization and will never go away--putting these difficulties in a fantasy context was ingenious. Well done!
I find compressing a long journey into a few lines reveals truths about the journey, otherwise unseen. You have compressed the "long" journey of a lifetime into a few lines and revealed that, even at ninety-nine, we are all still young. I happen to believe we are eternal beings (after all, energy cannot be destroyed), so ninety-nine or ninety-nine billion is still only the beginning of The Great Journey.
The rhythm of the poem is not entirely consistent, but I have no problem with that, for that is how real life is as well.
Kyra, I enjoyed this piece very much. You ask many intriguing questions, which reveals an active, inquisitive, intelligent mind, which is GREAT for a writer. Thank you for sharing your work!
Rose Scott, you captured powerful emotions and viewpoint in this short poem. It is not easy to focus so much intensity in a few lines, but you have done it very well. Thank you for sharing this poem. I hope your life is filled with _helpful_ eyes and ears!
Olivia, this poem is raw, emotional, and powerful. You are very brave to share such intense and evocative imagery. Thank you for sharing--I believe your words will be a comfort to others who desperately need comfort and understanding. Thank you, Oliva.
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