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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ldenise64
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Review by Lucinda Denise Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This is a nice story. I like the plot but must admit the jumping of povs (point of views) jarred me a little, it actually seems to be omni present mostly but then it slips into the charactrs in places. Also if there was a little more details as it comes up. Like when Dr. Mullins is saying 'Not good' towards the begining if Ethan said something about like got to keep the boss happy. Yes Brittany knows who he is but the reader doesn't. Another suggestion after you introduce the readers to Professor Vogel's first name it would pull them in more if you used it more than his titled name, imo (in my opinion). Hope this was helpful. By the way I like your style and the pace. It doesn't feel too rushed, which I often find with a short story.

If you found this helpful message me because I will look for more of your work to review since I enjoyed this one so much.
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