Try not to be so 'you' about everything. Got to make a kid have a character and that character has some sort of pay off or goal. What you got here is adult motivational poems trying to be children's poems. Not badly written or anything but lacking what anyone could honestly count as childrens anything.
The problem is that with a song, as you said, that is able to be interpreted differently by different people, is that that very song could very well be interpreted differently by you. What does this mean? This means your analysis, despite how decently done and informative it sometimes can be, is rendered completely void.
Your opening to basically telling the reader that 'it means what you think it means' which draws up questions like 'Why am I even reading this if it is apparently interpreted differently by anyone?'. The article doesn't offer more then opinion and because of its only, though very major, flaw is only as credible as say, a online journal of a fan.
Houses? why not get a apartment?
Anyhow, good luck on your college deal however it's called Culinary Management. A cook is one of the lowest positions, what you want to be is a Chef - or even a sues Chef!
I sort of like the visual pyramid this forms. It's neat, though remember that when its read its not translated as a pyramid. Instead its a very short but solid poem, I like it! Keep on writing!
The last two lines of 'And' then 'She makes us go Round and Round and Round….' are very much out of place. But besides that its a good blank verse poem, despite being a little basic.
Genna! I have chosen to make you my 100th review, and it will be on this chosen piece I awarded as I feel that it is quite fantastic. I loved the way you ended it, and how you didn't ask how to write it but for suggestions. This so far will be the most memorable piece to me, especially for all it represents!
This seems more like a statement then a poem, hm. Don't get me wrong, its good. But think of it like I write a letter then put it in letter format - that's what you basically are doing here. Though I think it was quite well done, and more like a letter to yourself - keep the good work up!
I'm going to review this due to the sheer genius of such a thing. Who really comes up with a story poll? Its original, and quite different - at least to me. Not anywhere else have I see such a thing! Keep up the great work! You clearly have a fantastic imagination that allows you to utilize even such minimalistic things like a poll!
This was hilarious, it really gave me a smile to see someone technically make a rap version of the 10 commandments and to boot it was in modern slang! I can say this is very original and very thought out! Keep up the fantastic work!
I am actually in one at the moment, shes actually right behind me as I type this. Of course if both parties try, then both will succeed. Its really that simple. Issues can pop up, that's true however.
Love is love is love is love, and I don't see any rules associated with the word love. Isn't it that 'love knows no bounds?" Then that surely means that it can transcend genders.
Sight, without a doubt I'd be hopeless without it. My world revolves around sight, writing, reading, drawing, looking, all of it comes from my eyes and how I see things. I loved this poll, it made me think. Keep up the great work!
This works very well as a child's poem, though the problem is that it has no overall story and that is what child literature requires. As even child books are as simple as a poem with pictures.
Mhmm its a good poem, though you made a mistake that is actually not within the poem. Its your description, you took the power from the poem by telling its meaning in that. Besides that its a great piece of work.
This is very well written, but I honestly had a hard time grasping what its about. I can't tell if its hopeful, or just is a reflection on the past and whats going to happen next. Its well written indeed, and the imagery is amazing. Though still remains that single problem of, what is it about? I cannot tell, nor can I relate, or understand.
Well I hope this is just a scene, its good though obviously requires more. What you have here looks like something along the lines of a novel fragment, which I'll assume is what its meant to be. I know I'm being a little redundant here but honestly I don't see anything wrong with your writing, and I don't honestly see what needs to be improved - its just a matter of getting your story out completely and letting us all enjoy it - even if its in novel form and on the bookshelf.
This really didn't hold my own interest, though its not bad. It just didn't catch me directly, I say though that that may be due to the awkward pacing of the rhyming. Its not that I can pinpoint it but maybe this would be better as blank verse?
I assume this is about the death of a parent, though at least the third part had me thinking that. Its good though, oddly enough I don't see much wrong with it, and I usually do with poems.
This is actually pretty good for a short contest entry, I got the point of it and I got a little chuckle because the name Anders reminded me of Anders from In Flames. Since its meant to be short, accomplishes what its meant to, and doesn't get boring after the first few words, I'll give it a 5. Good luck on the contest your doing, whatever it may be.
Ah this is good though I feel it doesn't have a single theme and is more of a cluster of ideas, if it was to follow a theme of questions pertaining to a single feeling or topic it would be much more effective. I like the first verse however, as a writer it sort of spoke to me and as I've been in many oppressive situations I can somewhat relate. Thank you for posting this.
Besides capitalization there is nothing wrong with this poem, it goes along with the don't give up type theme but the last verse takes a darker turn as though there is something tragic that has happened or is about to happen. Very good, I like it very much.
-Leatis
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