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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lefolieadeux
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11 Public Reviews Given
11 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of Solitaire Game  Open in new Window.
Review by Jace Milk Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is an excellent story so far, and I really want to read more! Your grammar and spelling could use a little work at times, but those are merely technical issues, and detract little from what are obviously the makings of a great story. I hope you write more, because I want to read more.
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Review of Loom  Open in new Window.
Review by Jace Milk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Short, but sweet! Not much to say here - I like your spartan choice of words and off-beat syntax (sharp, cuts the needle). Good effort - though it's a bit hard to review only three lines of poetry. I want to read more!
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Review of About Her  Open in new Window.
Review by Jace Milk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Is "her" you?

She speaks, she writes, and she expresses herself. Quite beautifully, too.
This is a very candid description! Not dry, but not soggy with sentimentalism either.

A slight thing to think about though - you keep switching between "has so and so" and "she is so and so". It's not a big deal, just it looks better if you keep to one form or another through the whole poem - that is, unless you wanted to use both interchangeably, which is fine too.

4.0/5.0! I liked this.
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Review of Abandoned  Open in new Window.
Review by Jace Milk Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really liked this poem! Your emotions are clear and straightforward, and your syntax helps with this -- short, brisk sentences that were straight to the point. I had some minor issues with your diction -- some words, I felt, could be replaced easily with better-fitting ones, but who am I to say? 4.5/5, which really should be a 5/5, but the diction (which might just be me nitpicking) got me there. Excellent writing! :)
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