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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/legerdemain
Review Requests: OFF
1,523 Public Reviews Given
1,768 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Chaim Tal Author Icon

Thanks for presenting this helpful and educational item. If I ever see the wall, I will feel more confident that I'm not making a faux pax and seem less like an ignorant tourist.
It was easy to read.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*In your Brief Description, should 'divine energy' be 'Divine energy'?
*Bullet*Are the Tehillims very long to add on?

Overall, a very interesting offering, thank you.


Regards,
Kim

Just a fun little signature.


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2
2
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Joy Author Icon
I enjoyed this story, you did a great job of connecting the dots between the main character (Buddy), the murder and those pieces from the past.
I felt the wife was very understanding. Personally, finding out the woman kept the secret would have upset me a lot more.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, it was a good read, with all the loose ends tied up neatly.

Regards,
Kim

Just a fun little signature.


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3
3
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello lorilady Author Icon

I found this suggestion from Read & Review.
I liked your heartfelt writing. It would be a cute poem to put inside a Christmas stocking or something.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*3rd stanza - "you'll" find
*Bullet*4th stanza - "wherever"
*Bullet*7th stanza - make the poem evergreen by changing "2016" to "new year"

Overall, a sweet end-of-year poem


Regards,
Kim

twinkle fairy signature


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4
4
Review of Space Holder  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
In regards to this special page "Space Holder" Open in new Window.

 Special Number Page - Do Not Delete Open in new Window. (E)
briefly, it's an empty page.
#1000001 by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
I have the next space holder. I figured some day I'll donate it for an auction or something, but in the meantime, it's hanging out in my portfolio, keeping all the other moldy and dusty bits company.

I'll give it five stars, for holding up its end of the bargain when you created it.

*Laugh**Laugh**Laugh**Laugh**Laugh*

This actually came up on Read & Review...I'm sending the gps back.
5
5
Review of Seize Cruise  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Words Whirling 'Round Author Icon

I liked this poem! Okay, a little morbid, but very expressive about a seaman's life. I had to look up what a scupper is. *Laugh*
*Starv*My favorite line: "bubbles up from a drowned sailor's lips" - great image!
It reminded me of a wonderful tour I had on a tall ship, it was very impressive.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a fun one to read.

Regards,
Kim

Just do it!


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6
6
Review of Right Thirst  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Deepak Sagar Author Icon

This was an interesting description of nature doing its work. There's always a winner, today it was the deer and the croc waits for another potential meal.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"so hungry they could eat anything" ~ could should be would.
*Bullet*"but it danced like it got something more than water." ~ from there on, you created an anthropomorphized story, giving the deer human emotions.
*Bullet*"Getting freedom from all the negative parts of his mind and dancing like it got something more than water." ~ perhaps the narrator should be the one to celebrate

Overall, an interesting depiction of natural selection at work.

Regards,
Kim

Happy Birthday Writing.com


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7
7
Review of Wherever I Go  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Amethyst Snow Angel Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What an awesome adventure! I really liked how you connected all the characters with one another and Lettie from the past. The cave descriptions were fantastic.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* Ouija feels cliche, perhaps wishing on another object related to the Z'algath.
*Bullet* The winks felt off, the twitch of a frown or flare of nostrils. Z'algath seems too serious to wink.

Overall, great story, glad they all escaped!

Regards,
Kim
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8
8
Review of Unbeknownst To Us  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello PrincessThai Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What a great scene! It was definitely out of this world type stuff. I can see these three characters/friends exploring this world.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* "Bates and Gus at the same time" ~ shouldn't Bates and Greg say this?
*Bullet* This needed an ending to be a complete story, but it's an awesome beginning.

Overall, so far so good, keep writing!

Regards,
Kim
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9
9
Review of Solomon's garden  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello LightinMind Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

An interesting take on the prompt. While the beginning felt informational, some of it was relevant to the ending. Apparently Solomon not only managed to have seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines, but had time to command angels and create a garden like Eden. While reading, one knew somehow that would go badly for him.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* Why toss Higson back?
*Bullet* I liked how Rachel delivered the historical narrative.

Overall, a fascinating read. Well done.

Regards,
Kim
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10
10
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello PureSciFiPlus Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

Great story! This felt like the beginning chapter of a great adventure. We still didn't get an answer, and I was hoping the giants would come alive.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"I know how most people think of me" ~ Suggest: I know what most people think of me
*Bullet*"illustration that I got left at my museum a few weeks ago" ~ Suggest: illustration that was left at my museum a few weeks ago
*Bullet*"Archeology Helper" ~ Are these guides or from the kid's club?
*Bullet* I felt the timeline of the story wasn't really clear as far as Sarah was concerned. Was this a flashback of when she was at the site with her parents or a future visit after she was found?

Overall, a base for a fun story.

Regards,
Kim
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11
11
Review of For S.G.  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello MoonChilde Author Icon

This was a lovely tribute. I'm sure it is nice to look back and see, in retrospect, all that someone has done for you. It reminds me to be grateful for all those who have helped me.

We should tell them, if we're able.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Minor - Line breaks between paragraphs for an easier read.

Overall, a beautiful reminder.


Regards,
Kim

Just do it!


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12
12
Review of Straggler  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden Author Icon

This makes me think of that last leaf! The one that clings all winter and you admire it for its tenacity.
The somber tone of mortality in this makes one reflect. Should we ever let go?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*One line gave me pause: "So thin am I become," ~ Perhaps - I have?

Overall, I felt this deeply, thank you for posting.

Regards,
Kim

Just do it!


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13
13
Review of Pink Button  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey who made that cool button? *Laugh*

It looks great in your portfolio. If you want to make it clickable to your portfolio, edit and put 100 in the "Link to Item" field in Image Settings. If you want it to send them to an item, put the item # there!

Regards,
Kim
14
14
Review of The Final Journal  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Damon Nomad Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I really enjoyed the imagery in your story and was happy the eighty seven year old grandfather was found alive. What are the chances? Nice work weaving your story in the lush building surrounded by rough terrain.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

You followed the prompt and your timeline carried the story well. Nice work with your dialog.

Overall, a good story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


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15
15
Review of The Verdant  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello WriterRick Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What beautiful descriptions are in this story and your character, Elara is a very determined person. You followed the picture prompt.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Your story was pasted twice in the item.
*Bullet*Some dialog with the others that passed through the portal would have been intriguing.

Overall, your story seemed like just the beginning of a wonderful place for talented peoples.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


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16
16
Review of The lost city  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I liked the world you described and you did well describing the sorrow Aria and Kai felt. GCS felt probable and helped the placement of the story. I would certainly like my brain to be a bit reinforced, lol.

The prompt was followed.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* How did the plants live if it was "sand and dust" and the air was unsustainable to life?

Overall, an enjoyable story to read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


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17
17
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Anna Marie Carlson Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!
This was a very interesting story. Making the desk anthropomorphic was a fun twist to the prompt. You gave the characters very interesting names.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Melody was more than py to arrange a meeting - "happy"
*Bullet*I would have liked to see more dialog - maybe after the word count limit for the contest.

Overall, an interesting read.

Regards,
Kim
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18
18
Review of Let It Grow  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Amethyst Snow Angel Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

This was a lovely story that followed the prompt well and I very much enjoyed the descriptions and dialog. You did a good job with the characters and emotions shown in the story. I believe Fiona and Joseph will be together after the story ends. What a sweet and noble gesture!

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a great read and entry.

Regards,
Kim
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19
19
Review of The Library  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jolly Jingle Jtpete Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I liked this story for a lot of reasons. You did a nice job of clarifying what your merfolk were like and its hierarchy. Your dialog was enjoyable and carried the story well. You included the prompt in an interesting way. The whale helpers were an awesome idea.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a fascinating story I'd like to read more.

Regards,
Kim
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20
20
Review of Long After Humans  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello AmyJo-Christmas wishes Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

Your descriptions of the prompt were done well. Nature certainly recaptures what humans try to build. This item felt more like a short essay than a story. I would have liked to see some characters and dialog.
This could be a good beginning for a story you could build. I'd suggest saving it for a nice scene in a future story.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a nice description of the prompt picture.

Regards,
Kim
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21
21
Review of Sophia's Library  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello LightinMind Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, you did a good job of incorporating the prompt picture and weaving your story around it. Sophia and John were well rounded characters and I loved how the books had a new purpose.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Where did the slaves come from?
*Bullet*I'm not sure the quick jump to passion was necessary.

Overall, I liked the new rebuilt world and story.

Regards,
Kim
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22
22
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Joseph Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I liked your story, it was very adventurous. The prompt was included and had some good descriptions. While you ran out of word count, I'd like to see some dialog in the story when the contest is over. Only the bird spoke?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"their 3rd day they awoke" ~ third
*Bullet*Work on more show than tell.

Overall, a great start to your adventure. Watch out for those Wolf-creatures!
Regards,
Kim
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23
23
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!
The Deathbringers is a cool idea. I enjoyed your images of them and how they destroy others. You showed the prompt in your story and I liked the squeamy way people were liquified.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Is Jeehon a place or a people?
*Bullet*"still stiff frozen body" ~ stiff/frozen is redundant
*Bullet*"Reading Material" ~ no caps
*Bullet*"her latest victim" ~ Surranon is male, yes? Gender seems interchanged in the story.
*Bullet*"“I agree that Young Ones shouldn’t be victims, but I don’t about them know about us and what we do." ~ Confusing sentence
*Bullet*Was the point of the story - the conflict of whether to leave?

Overall, a good read.

Regards,
Kim
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24
24
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Kotaro Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, the story Watanabe told, and the scene in the bar. You did a good job integrating the image prompt within. Too bad the pizza burned! There were a lot of wonderful nuggets in this story, like the part where the girl poured the fountain water in the hole. Very interesting.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*played-back ~ no hyphen
*Bullet*What was the girl's name?

Overall, a likeable story.

Regards,
Kim
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25
25
Review of The Sanctuary  Open in new Window.
Review by Leger~ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Massive Friendly Derg Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

This felt like a summary of something more to write. You described the prompt image and suggested an idea but I wished to see something more fleshed out in a short story. You have the scene, now you just need characters and something happening.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Write a story about what you see there.

Overall, it's a start.

Regards,
Kim
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