This is a great story. I rarely finish my own stories either, but you should try going back every now and then, and just write a bit more until you get bored, and then come back etc etc etc. Happy writing
A good poem. However, you need to establish whether it's a rhyming poem or not, because sometimes you rhymed, and others you did not. It also needs a little work on the rythm. But I liked it, and I think you should keep going with your work. Happy writing.
This is really good. The only pointers I can give are don't start your names with the same letter, in this case, 'A'. Sometimes this can get confusing. But all in all, it's a good chapter. The bait for the hook was good. Well done again, and happy writing.
I can totally relate to this poem. I often wish to be in a fantasy world with elves, dwarves, dragons and other such things. 'Twould be an awesome thing to have happen. Happy writing.
Woah. That's all I can say. You deserve to have a 5 for this peice. The only minor thing I can recommend is instead of sayin 'kneeling down in the SURF', say something more gentle, something like 'kneeling down in the blue ocean'. Just a suggestion, but the colloquialism kind of takes away from the story. Anyway, happy writing.
This is a really good poem, it reminds me of the Blue Mountains in Australia (I wonder why...) because I used to live near there. A job well done. No advice needed. Keep up the good work and happy writing :)
Wow, this is great. It displays emotion, and that's what I really like. It was a good idea to put the times at the side of each entry. It's like a diary, and really creative. You have really good describing words that suit each sentence, so I say well done. A job well done, happy writing.
I agree all the way. Since I'm still in High School (in Australia) I find every single girl in the school is onnly interested in make-up, hair and Dolly/girlfriend magazines (not that this is a bad thing, but I think individuality would be good), and thinks writing/reding are boring and nerdy. But at WDC, I've met so many girls who are just like me. It's a great site, and I try to go on it every day, despite all the homework :) Lemur
Good story, but the story plotline isn't really visible yet. I suggest that you soon find out why your person has obtained the egg. Hope you stop by my portfolio sometime, happy writing :)
Wow, is this an extract from The Bible or are you just a good writer? Either way, it was a very good idea to put Christian things on writing.com. It is a very good thing and idea to promote Him and His Word. I think you must mean Josephs well at the beginning of the extract/factual story :). Or maybe I just haven't been in touch with The Bible enough. Anyway, Happy Writing!
This is a good story, but I have a onw pointer. While I was reading, the word 'he' came up a lot. To me, this is almost as bad as starting every sentence with 'then'. Instead of saying 'he' all the time, you could say something like 'The King' or 'the thirty-seven year old'. Even something like 'the puzzled king'. All in all though, this is a really good story, keep it up. Happy writing.
Wow, this is a really good story. My only suggestion is to make sure you describe everything. I don't know what the colour of the female is, and I would rather be told. Otherwise, this is a really good story. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading it :)
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