Excellemnt first chapter! I was captivated till the very end... a little disappointed because it didn't set my mind at ease. But absolutely captivating!! MORE MORE MORE!
Great story. However, the telling of it seemed a littler rushed. You would draw the reader in more if you give anticipation and don't imidiately hit climax in your story with the first couple paragraphs.
Excellent Story! Absolutely loved it! Very vivid and emotional. Great ending... though not usually a ending in the reality of this world. haha. Excellent!
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