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Review of Permeation  Open in new Window.
Review by Kate Castle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This was a very powerful piece. I like that you kept the suspense up until the very end. I had no clue where you were going. To be quite honest, I thought it was going to be a story about a man's crippling depression and perhaps a suicide attempt.

Interesting as the story was, there were a few things I'd like to mention. I feel your use of "big words" was a little pretentious and took away from the story. I spent too much time thinking about words such as "contemptuous" "sardonically" and "empirical acceptance." Those are all fine for more academic platforms, but here I think a more subtle approach would work better with the raw feelings.

“Even now in the face of all that is to come, you remain silent.” I found that line wouldn't have come from the character of the therapist. You describe her as vaguely unintelligent and basically incapable of higher thought- or so I felt. This line seemed a bit above her.

There were a few grammatical errors ("cubicle" as opposed to "cubical" and a few missing commas and dashes, but in all I really liked this piece!

Keep up the great writing!
~Kate
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