This is a story with teeth. I really like how you set up the alternating memories with the present. It is a very powerful technique. your descriptive technique is quite strong, the best example being Timmy's catch. We can get right in to Timmy's character. You also have done a nice job with dialogue here. Another impression I have is that there is a lot going on in such a short story, yet you have presented it with mastery; it is not scattered and it hangs together quite well. I had to sit with the ending for some time. I felt at first a bit manipulated, in rereading the end, I think you are successful in bringing this ending off. Really nice work.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lewald
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 1:21pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.