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1
1
Review of The Field Mouse  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Cynaemon Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review. Welcome to the May event honoring Mona!!

The Title

I have a thing for mice. Even though they are pesky lil critters, I am drawn to their strength to survive. We found a few in our garage this winter and I had to save a couple. Did I do them justice? Probably not, it was very cold out.

My First Impression

I enjoyed the personification used in this little story. The love for mice from a cat's point of view. My son's cat Nook found a couple this winter and she had fun. I can tell you that. She was so proud to plunk them at our feet by morning.

The idea of a cat eating a mouse kind of grosses me out. I thought they would just play with them til doomsday.

Great spacing which made for an easy read. I only really noticed a few grammar errors. Excessive use of and. The word "or" is a bit overdone. Otherwise, I enjoyed this story very much!

Over All Thoughts


I believe this story could be a little longer or an intro to a series of events from the cat's point of view. It could be really fun. Having a cat myself, I could only imagine.
Thanks for sharing and Keep Writing!


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Review of Memory Calls  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Beholden Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this story in Read and Review. Welcome to the May event honoring Mona!!

The Title

Memory Calls on all of us I suppose!

My First Impression

This story held a great visual for me as the writer goes down memory lane. It started out as a beautiful experience. As I read on to the birds in the cove, I grew more intrigued. As the writer finds something unknown being eaten by birds.

Writing in Theory

Some writers stick to the module of Conflict, crisis, and resolution. However, I tend to lean toward the linear module. I don't think there is always a rule to a good story. This story portrays an epiphany for me. In the end out of now where he jumps. Something else to feed the birds. All memories rested on the damp sands of the cove. That got me! Nothing, in the beginning, would have made me think the main character would have done this. I loved the twist!!


Over All Thoughts


I have nothing to offer here for suggestions. You followed the rules of the contest and I enjoyed it very much as an overall read. It held my attention with a smooth read. The visual was great as I was right there with the character and somehow felt responsible that he jumped. Great Job! Thanks for sharing and Keep Writing!

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Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sum1's In Schaumburg Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title


The Jester's Father really had me intrigued. A decision to be made that would change everything.

My First Impression

Oh if I knew I could make this choice, I would have done the same. Nobody should have to watch their child suffer through life. My son has had a disease for most of his life, and if I could change that I would in a heartbeat.

Quite emotional as the poet describes the ache in one's heart and the notion that if he could trade places he would.
Not expecting an unknown voice to answer his plea. He doesn't hesitate, knowing he made the right compromise.

The Muses That Inspired Me

I enjoyed the stanzas in couplets very much. Great word choices were made to convey the emotional trauma in the father's heart. I noticed Alliteration throughout as well as metaphor. It's amazing as we take a simple thought and it turns into art with the use of devices. I would consider this a blank verse type of poetry. Without the Iambic meter held within the stanzas. I read each line that held an 11 to 12-syllable count.

It held a good rhythm for the most part.

Conventions I Would Suggest


This is only a suggestion because this is your poem. I kind of stumbled on this line.

Home again, he hugged his wife; whispered, “I love you so.”

I suggest

He later hugged his wife 'n said, "I love you so."


This little change holds onto the meter you started off with and keeps in tune with the rhythm.

Over All Thoughts


Thank you for sharing and I must read the other poems related to this character. Keep Writing!! Thanks for sharing

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Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Inkheart Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this story in Read and Review.

The Title

So the title tells me about the story but as I read on I think a more suitable title could win the want to read. Remember this is your first hook to the reader.

My First Impression

The biggest part that stood out for me was the relationship between stepfather and son. They are moving to a smaller town but the story didn't really focus on that. The son seems a little bitter and it's probably the age. I think if you wanted to focus on the new town and being the new kid, maybe start the story with that in mind. Meeting new people, maybe finding a friend he didn't expect.

The module for writing doesn't always constitute the rise and fall with conflicts throughout. However, this story has a conflict but no resolution. The structure is more of a dialogue with some emotion. When writing emotion you want to choose valuable word choice so the reader feels this as well.

Suggestions


I could maybe see this as an introduction to a longer story. Maybe continue it through and into his adventures in this new town. I grew up in a small town and oh boy it could be fun or not so fun. You really could bring this story into a novella if you chose to.

These are only my suggestions as this is your story!


Over All Thoughts


I believe that if you chose to dive into this story in depth you could have a great piece here. If you lived in a small town, what would you do? Are there arenas, parks, and corner stores? Places you could meet others. Visual always plays a huge part when building a story.

Thanks for sharing and Keep Writing!!








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5
5
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello rugal b. Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this story in Read and Review.

The Title

I really enjoyed the title and the short intro. It led me to read on!

My First Impression

A very well-thought-out piece! Well done! I loved the spacing with decent paragraphs. Nothing worse than reading crowded words. The pace was great, and the writer covered everything that really mattered in this story.

Characters


Character building can be a struggle. I picked up on Chiho right away. Her emotions were valid and showed strongly throughout this story. It really reminded me of my niece. She is now going on seventeen and driving. She struggles with letting go of being a kid and having responsibilities. A very age-appropriate story that many could relate to.

Jenny is very insightful without a doubt. She comes through for her best friend's sister. I thought that was touching. Growing up is not easy and too many want to be there too fast.

Shapely Story


For some stories, we hold dear to the module of crisis, plot, conflict, and resolution. This story; does have a crisis for a young girl losing her sister. The plot shows well as she reaches out for someone to talk to. The resolution is that she is willing to not focus so much on growing up.

The writer uses dialogue very well, as well as shows emotion. Written in the first person is not so easy and I didn't trip anywhere as I was reading. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes. The sentence structure is on point.

Over All Thoughts


As I said, this was a good read with a great message. Well written!! I enjoyed it very much as it struck a cord for me and my nieces situation. Thanks for sharing, good luck! Keep Writing!

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Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good day Dan I Am Author IconMail Icon My name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I welcome you to the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.March Raid!!

Title

*4leaf* *4leaf*

Nothing is Ratty to me! I love second hand furniture, so I was taken by this title right away. With the intro, my interest is peaked!!

First Impression


Well I wonder how many people stop to think about these stories. I know I do. Everything I find held a purpose to someone else. A value that we probably don't see. We see the prize of the find and what we can do with it. Sad really and in a way we are bringing other's history into our home. That is a blessing to me. Another thing I thought about was in every home, I believe the "chair" is the last to get replaced.

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


Structure


I enjoyed how you introduced this chair as a life. It was the life of a man for years. It held conversations, it was in home movies, birthdays, good and bad news, dinner in front of the tv, comfy naps. The list goes one right?

The writer brings the reader to the history, to the transition of what was an heirloom in ones home to a treasure in another.

I saw no errors that stood out. This was a light and easy read but held substance. Sentence structure was great as I saw no issues.

There was a great amount of imagery here that captured my attention. The other side of the coin.


Suggestions


I don't have any suggestions as this was a very nice read. Sad in a way but truthful and heart felt.

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*



Over All Thoughts

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


Thank you so much for sharing this piece. A story is a great story when it comes from the heart. Well thought out.


Keep Writing!!
`LL`



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Review of Bloodthirsty  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good day Koyel~writing again Author IconMail Icon My name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I welcome you to the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.March Raid!!

Title

*4leaf* *4leaf*

Bloodthirsty is a title of vengeance! I wouldn't want to be on the other side that is for sure!

First Impression


This poem reminds me of one I wrote myself. The illusion of beauty becomes tainted with death and ruthless intentions. I enjoyed the weave of word choices from sparkling fangs and her lovely face.
*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*



Muses That Inspired Me

*4leaf* *4leaf* *4leaf*


So this poem being a couplet was quite well done. Pairs of rhyming lines, usually of the same length and closing line on every second. You have an 8 syllable count on each line which was well done as well.

Other conventions that serve the poet are always a treat to find in other's writings. I did find a few in this one.

Alliteration, Allusion, hyperbole, metaphor, tone, visual, caesura, Consonance.

So you see as we start to understand the use of each tool we can use them to enhance our poetry. Giving it a voice, or tone that relates to the reader. A flow of soft sounds can also be used in a poem such as this.
Example
Her sparkling white fangs crave to bite,
Into the the tender flesh of men,
To instill love-poison again.



Suggestions


My only suggestion here would be on line three. You repeated the word "the" twice. A typo that you might want to edit.


*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*

Over All Thoughts

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


I really loved this poem because it sends a vibe of deceit through a beauty of it's own. Well done!

Keep Writing!!
`LL`





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Review of The Plains  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Good day Nikola~Thankful Library Lady Author IconMail Icon } My name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I welcome you to the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.March Raid!!

Title

*4leaf* *4leaf*


I love the intro of this piece. It says so much about nature; and the grace of something we can't touch.

First Impression


I agree that the plains have their own unique "life" , being so open. Nothing to shelter them. This gave quite a visual for me! If you stood on the highest mountain looking down, it holds a trickle effect of the wind. Each blade of wheat, grass, wild flower dances freely so to speak. Although they are beckoned by the winds.
*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


Muses That Inspired Me

*4leaf* *4leaf* *4leaf*

This being a small poem it holds volumes of conventions. All of these conventions bring this together like a song. Assonance, Alliteration, cadence, Concrete poetry, consonance, enjambment, imagery, personification. All wonderful conventions!!! Great word choice.

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*

Over All Thoughts

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


Very beautiful and simple. Not over done and quite catchy to the reader. I love nature and there aren't enough poems for me about it. My favorite part of this had to be

Radiant in the hot sun,
grasses bow in respect
to the winds.


Thank you so much for sharing! Keep Writing!
~LL~


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9
9
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good day Gustav Flint Author IconMail Icon My name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I welcome you to the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.March Raid!!

Title

*4leaf* *4leaf*

It is truly is a cycle and never ends well. True enough that sorrow lingers through generations as our world never ends the strife of war, shelter and huge amounts of other issues

First Impression

Today and Tomorrow are never ending aren't they. I enjoyed the straight forwardness of this piece. The voice allows the reality to sink with the reader. That is quite important.


Muses That Inspired Me


Nice rhyme scheme here as you chose free verse. In doing so you used Enjambment very well. Alliteration is seen through out this piece which helps with the flow and conviction. The use of Anaphora was created well as it enhances the meaning of the poem. Assonance is a great tool to give that flow of sound to the poets words.


Suggestions

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*

I really don't have anything to suggest here. You wrote a poem that is quite real. I believe your wrote it from the heart and how our world has become a cycle of despair.



Over All Thoughts

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*

Thank You for sharing! I enjoyed reading it very much! Keep Writing!










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10
10
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good day Sumojo Author IconMail Icon My name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I welcome you to the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.March Raid!!

Title

*4leaf* *4leaf*


Love the title!! Oh boy there is so much to learn about this! Pretty sure many can relate but it is a toxic way to get through life. It manifests and becomes haunted if not rectified.

First Impression


I had many disturbing thoughts about his piece as I read it. The words gave me flash backs from experiences of others who did this very thing. A nice short but loud message.

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


Muses That Inspired Me

*4leaf* *4leaf* *4leaf*

I notice many conventions in this poem such as Assonance, blank verse, consonance, I enjoyed the soft sounds that spoke loudly. A great voice portrayed in this poem.


Suggestions


*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


My only suggestion would be maybe to change "Somethings" to "Some things" more of space issue.

Over All Thoughts

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*

Really enjoyed reading this and it hit home. Thanks for sharing! Keep Writing!















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11
11
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good day SeanFhear Author IconMail Icon My name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I welcome you to the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.March Raid!!

Title

*4leaf* *4leaf*


This title intrigued me very much. I felt something here that sparked a memory so I had to read further on.

First Impression


So this certainly did have a memory for me. We had a huge oak willow that my son had a swing on. He played under it for many years. Then we built a deck around it because it gave so much shade. I loved that tree and the memories it held for our family. It became so old it held a disease that we tried to treat but it was over. We had to cut it down and it broke my heart.

I sense these same emotions in this lament the writer speaks of. Memories of that one place your can go to. Something to tell your secrets to. I find that one place of peaceful thoughts can be ours and ours alone.

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


Muses That Inspired Me

*4leaf* *4leaf* *4leaf*


First of all a great use of personification in this piece. A nice flow of free verse. Alliteration, Assonance, Enjambent, I enjoyed the voice given in the heart felt poem as well. Giving a voice for the reader is so important.



Suggestions


So earlier I mentioned this was a free verse poem that doesn't need a form structure. I also mentioned Enjambment which is a running-over of a sentence or phrase to the next line. Now when we do this, the poem should be quite simple. example. the back wings
of

quite short and no need for punctuation. In this piece however I would suggest some punctuation. As the lines are long, and without it the reader can't take a breath. It also fills the gap of emotion so to speak. This is only a suggestion but I would like to show you.

You wrote


*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*



O Hazelnut tree come and listen
testify by thy roots above me
here lies my heart where it is hidden
dusted by the dust and gloomy

O Tree of the first time when
when we met and smiled and did sit
did you testify not that time when
when hand in hand we did go and went

I suggest


O-Hazelnut tree, come and listen;
testify by thy roots above me.
Here lies my heart where it is hidden,
dusted by the dust and gloomy.

O-Tree of the first time when
we met 'n smiled and did sit;
did you testify, not that time when,
hand in hand we did go and went.

In doing this we can pause or enhance words we want heard. I also suggest removing a couple of words that have been repeated and not necessary.

Over All Thoughts

*4leaf**4leaf**4leaf*


I enjoyed reading where the writers heart lies. Remember this is your poem and yours only. These are only my suggestions as we are all writers helping each other. Keep Writing















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Review of Grandma's Lamp  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello QueenNormaJean maybesnow?! Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this flash fiction in Read and Review.

The Title


Grandma's Lamp caught my attention because when it comes to grandmas, well it could be anything.

My First Impression

Very well done with the beginning. Right into it! Of course the mystery of this lamp had me. This story reminded me of a friend I had and she would come to visit her grand mother. We played there a lot and there were so many things I questioned. Looking back it is funny but back then, it creeped me out. I couldn't go into her basement at all. The house was so old. Dark curtains, old old furniture. You get it! So it kind of thrilled me to read this piece.

The Muses That Inspired Me

I enjoyed the twist in the end and it left me to wonder and that is what the other wanted. Great job there! Sometimes a story left to the readers mind are the best kind. Without saying it, you said it. Excellent. Reading this was easy as the format was smooth. Grammar and punctuation were great, or nothing stood out at me. I see why you won! What goes through a kids mind right?


Over All Thoughts


This was a great little read. I am glad I came across it. Keep Writing!! Thanks for sharing!!

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13
13
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E
Hello ~Brian K Compton~ Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title


I loved the title but the intro really grabbed me to read further. Art is life until He is revealed.

My First Impression

So many emotions in this poem. I felt gravitated, inspired, let down, hopeful, dismayed. The use of word choices and conventions really pulled this together for me. I believe it was done with grace and well thought out.

The Muses That Inspired Me

So many muses inspired me here. The voice that was given was excellent. Metaphors, Alliteration, Assonance, simile, punctuation, imagery... all tools that inspire a poet to paint a vivid picture for the reader. It certainly did that for me.


Over All Thoughts


I have zero suggestions and congratulations on your award. Every reader can place a poem where it means the most to them. For me it felt like a play. Relatable in some parts but that is another story. Thanks for sharing! Keep Writing!

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14
14
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello spidey Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title

When I read the title I wasn't quite sure what to expect. The short intro though touched me.

My First Impression

Well to be honest I wanted to be right there. Very prose poetic. That's just my feeling. The writer captures a moment with great descriptive word phrases that enhance poetic conventions.

The Muses That Inspired Me

My favorite sentence here,
And the morning dewdrops desire the rose.


This sentence alone holds so much value. It holds Assonance, metaphor, consonance, caesura, deep image,

As through most of this piece it carries Enjambent, hyperbole, simile

Conventions I Would Suggest


This was a beautiful piece of poetry. The only suggestion I have would be the punctuation. If I could show you

You wrote
I swam sometimes in daybreak, below the white moon -
This phantom heart ever in embrace;
And the morning dewdrops desire the rose.
Dawn seems to breathe out honesty,
I will love the paralyzed devotion and withdrawal.


I only suggest as this is your work

I swam sometimes in daybreak-
below the white moon;
this phantom heart ever in embrace.
And the morning dewdrops desire the rose;
dawn seems to breath out honesty-
I will love the paralyzed devotion 'n withdrawal.

Over All Thoughts


Again thank you for sharing this piece with me. Please take my suggestions as only that. Keep Writing!!

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15
15
Review of Paranoid  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Beholden Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title


Ok first of all this resonates with me so much. As I watch my son struggle with loneliness. I had to read and it hooked me.

My First Impression

I loved the visual of this as the writer walks through a crowd. I know exactly how one feels. This is how my son relates to me how he feels. The noises are louder, people are judging, The sweat starts to form. It is a horrible feeling to watch someone struggle this way. It's not the weird guy, it's society that makes them the weird guy. The title speaks volumes without a doubt. I felt the tension through out this entire piece.



The Muses That Inspired Me

So poetry comes from the heart for most, and for others it comes from paying attention to everything around us. Some are gifted in a sense that they can feel other's anguish. I liked the use of free verse in this piece. It flowed well with other uses of conventions that pulled it together. I found the use of Assonance, I would consider this to be Concrete poetry, Consonance, enjambment, nicely done.

Conventions I Would Suggest


As we know free verse does not need a meter count or stanzas, but it should still cover other conventions such as what I wrote and punctuation is quite important. I believe instead of each line holding a comma there should be some pauses. The Caesura is often used as a pause, a breath for the reader. It creates a whole other way of expression. If I could show you what I mean, you can judge for yourself.

You Wrote

Live target in the crowd,
shrinking from the light,
eyes fixed on the ground,
the better not to catch
the hunter’s narrowed gaze,


I Suggest

Live target in the crowd;
shrinking form the light,
eyes fixed on the ground,
the better not to catch-
the hunter's narrowed gaze.

I used an end stop here as otherwise you lose your breath reading. This doesn't make it a stanza, you just carry on as you would through the rest.

Over All Thoughts


Over All I really loved this!! It was filled with emotion and as I said before, resonated with me. Thanks for sharing! Keep Writing

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16
16
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Gerson Ventura Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this chapter in Read and Review.

The Title


The Title was a gripper for me to read on. It felt like quite an adventure.

My First Impression

I was quite taken by this story. Very well introduction to a main character and her background. You used dialogue very well through out and it held my attention. I felt as though I wanted to read more even at the end of this chapter. Susan has these rings and tickets to seek out the sender of the letter. You left many questions for me which I loved and the strategy you used to mold the past into the present and a questioning future.
I believe Susan to be a very delicate person but with a strong head. She will be a character to reckon with. I just feel that through the read.




Over All Thoughts

There are only a couple of typos and if you re read it carefully you will see them yourself. All in all this quite a story you have started. I can't wait to read more. I believe the time period to be very interesting. All characters so far hold a great role in the future chapters. The rings hold value to the maybe the rising plot.

Thanks for sharing!! Keep Writing! You are on to something!

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17
17
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello inkerod Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title

I love the title as it really captures the reality of the writer's maundering!

My First Impression

As I read this poem it screams the enormity of every living creature. I believe as humans we haven't been paying attention to such things. Our world seems to be most important. However it is not! The wonders of the world are made of the enormity of all living creatures and their own performance. I wish humans worked as well as the ones such as the coyote chasing the rabbit. They don't question why they do it, is there something better; no they do what they do and keep their world important. Maybe we could learn a little by those that carry on without questioning everything around them. I love the idea of this poem.

The Muses That Inspired Me

I enjoyed the personification used in this poem. This being a free verse poem with out meter or syllable count has value of it's own. A great message.

Conventions I Would Suggest


A couple of things I would suggest but are only suggestions as this is your poem and yours alone.

Every life is
Enormous to itself
No matter how small,


suggestion

Every life is
enormous to itself;
no matter how small.

Keep in mind that even in free verse we should hold values to some conventions. Punctuation is quite important in free verse in my opinion.

you wrote

To the martin,
Its swoops in the sky,
Are perfect art.

I suggest

To the martin
who swoops in the sky
displays it's perfect art.


I suggest changing some wording here as I stumbled in the read. These are just a couple of suggestions to enhance a wonderful voice to the reader.

Over All Thoughts


The tool here on the site are amazing along with reviewers that can help you polish you work. I enjoyed reading this and I hope to see more of your work. Keep Writing! We are all learning as writers along the way!

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18
18
Review of Broken Benches  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Lou-Here By His Grace Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title


This title really drew me into read. Broken Benches is quite a great descriptive piece!

My First Impression

As I read this I really thought of my own home town which I still live but the destruction and lost feeling of "home" has left my very soul. I am not sure if it is caused by neglect of the government or the free for all of the community. There is less and less of pride of where we live. It's very sad indeed.

The Muses That Inspired Me

The writer uses seven line stanzas without a formed syllable line count, yet it flowed very well. The rhyme scheme flowed easily with great word choices to enhance this image. I could smell the ground and see the fall leaves with closed up shops. It took me too memory lane which I enjoyed very much.

Conventions such as in line rhyme, couplet rhymes through stanzas of seven. I enjoyed the tone that set a mood for the reader. Figurative speech was well placed as well. Alliteration, Assonance, concrete poetry creating a visual image of a topic. Well Done


Over All Thoughts


Very enjoyable and I have nothing to offer to make this better. It was well thought out! Thank you for sharing and Keep Writing!!

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Review of Garden of Gems  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello super sleuth Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title


Love the title and after reading this poem I loved even more. The intro really intrigued me to read on.

My First Impression

What a beautiful painted piece you have here. Very inspiring as the writer uses soft sounds through out to convey the beauty of her detachment of reality.

This would have to be my favorite stanza of all.

Her heavy heart beats to the rhythm
of the Healie Bird's warble,
whose sensuous song draws her closer
with its soothing sound.
She fears neither ghosts, nor the living,
in this place of safety
created by the image displayed
behind her half-closed eyes.

The painted image of this woman who takes herself away from such horrible circumstance engaging in another world of fantasy. Her half-closed eyes really allowed me to feel the emotion here. Wonderful!


The Muses That Inspired Me

So many conventions in this beauty, I don't know where to begin so I will name a few that stand out to me.

Hyperbole

As their delicate branches,
caress the earth in a kiss,


Alliteration
Her heavy heart beats to the rhythm


Imagery

Well the whole thing paints a picture with finesse.

There is personification and Ambiguity, Anaphora, Assonance and so much more that brought me to this beautiful place!


Over All Thoughts


A really great job here with the use of conventions and your talents of usage of words. This poem really struck me and I just love it. Great Job!! Keep Writing!!

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Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello Arni Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this poem in Read and Review.

The Title


I was intrigued by the title and after reading the intro I was even more intrigued. As we all have our thoughts and references to God.

My First Impression

This was indeed a dark to light poem. Written in free verse and words that were intertwined like a vine bringing hope from the writer. Maybe a bit of confusion as to where they stand.

The Muses That Inspired Me

There are so many conventions in poetry that allow us as writers to paint a picture for the reader and hold interest. Writing from the heart is the best way to write and I find when I do the words are there for me.

Assonance is used frequently through out this piece allowing a beautiful flow.

Consonance is also seen through out and allows for a beat in even in free verse with out a syllable count or rhyme it flows.

In line rhyme is a nice way for a poem to give that nice up beat when reading.

I’m as confusing as the grape vine to many
Great use of Metaphor here. I think I would switch it to I am instead of I'm. It seems to lose a bit of power there. This whole verse was intriguing as to it's meaning.

I wonder what the writer means when saying "Like my former bullies, as a kudzu vine. I have to ponder on that one. Quite deep.

My favorite stanza would have to be the last!

Can I see clearly now that the rain is gone?
But there’s still mud upon the Earth.
But there’s a sunshine flare.
There’s lots to know and lots I won’t know,
But it’s all okay.


There will always be mud on the Earth and at the end of the day the sun will always shine. As humans we grasp to hope and it's an ever day practice. So true in saying we will never know all of it or how it works. Faith is something we choose to see even when it can't be seen right before our eyes.


Over All Thoughts


I enjoyed reading this poem as it is written from the heart I believe. Here is to hope and lots of sunshine!! Keep Writing.

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Review of An Open Closet  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary katwoman45 Author IconMail Icon Hi! my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this trendy piece in your port.



*BookOpen*The Read *BookOpen*


You don't know how much this poem relates to both my mother and myself. Mom is an avid shopper to say the least. She doesn't even know what she owns anymore. She has beautiful clothes that don't fit but she loves to look at it. You are so right about all of this!! I have clothes that remind me of an occasion all the time. You have the ones you received as gifts and not really fond of but you have to wait to get rid of them. I really enjoyed this light read today so thank you for that!!


*BookStack2*Structure*BookStack2*


I found this to be a free verse non formed poem. Yet it still holds value uses different conventions of poetry. Alliteration, enjambe-ment,, in line rhyme, Assonance, consonance.

We don't notice while we write how we are using these devices and when we do we have the ability to form them into words that relate to readers in a way that connects the page to the writer.

There could be some punctual adjustments but I just like the poem itself.

I don't have a favorite stanza or line because it all gave me a giggle and made me realize I should go through my closet. Thanks for that!







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Review of Fae By Moonlight  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Kayla Gee Author IconMail Icon my name is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon and I came across this piece in Read and Review.

The Title


I was very intrigued by the title and being Chapter One I can read as you right.

My First Impression

I don't usually read fantasy but this was really good. Great introduction to a story I believe will have many conflicts. This first chapter introduces main characters very well, giving a back story and it's first conflict. A great imagery here as well that allowed me to be on that balcony. I love the idea of the two sister moons.

*Crown* *Crown* *Crown*


The Mother was introduced in a beautiful manner. This is a wonderful start to what I believe will be a great story.

Very easy to follow with great spacing and dialogue was not overdone. I believe this was thought out very well as it shows. I didn't see any errors as far as punctuation or grammar. It's written in first person which is hard enough to carry through but done well. It is written is present tense which is also not an easy task.

*Crown* *Crown* *Crown*


Quite impressive! Well Done!!
Keep Writing!




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Review of Mandy  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good day to you Mary Ann MCPhedran Author IconMail Icon It's ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon here in celebration of your anniversary!! Congratulations!

I walked through your port and wow! You have so much to read I really had to make a choice. Let's begin!


*BookOpen* The Read *BookOpen*



This story kind of hit home with a memory of my grandfather who had TB and was placed in a sanatorium for eight months. I never understood why the sanatorium. How sad is it that the main character had to give up his children and it happened so often back then. Mandy having nobody and finding her brother had to have brought some sort of peace of mind. Never the less a traumatic experience felt in this story.

*BookStack2* Structure *BookStack2*



This story starts off with quite a conflict with a lot of emotion. I felt as though I was sitting with the story teller and she was telling me this story as if it was a personal experience. This is a good thing as I held a visual in my mind through out the story.

There is a rise and fall in action so to speak, between the nuns and the children and how they were treated.

The dialogue was good but with spacing it would have read easier without hesitation. I only found a couple of hic ups with spelling but nothing you can't fix if you choose to revise this piece.

Overall I enjoyed this story because of a time period I experienced in it. The anguish it represented spoke loudly and that is something not easy to do in a short piece. Thanks for sharing!!

Keep Writing!!
~LL~






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Review of Wonderland  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Happy Anniversary Jeff Author IconMail Icon it's ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon here and I wanted to graze through your port, what did I find? So many wonderful things to read but I found this poem that grabbed me.



*FairyR* First Impression *FairyL*


Well this poem sent me back to my childhood without a doubt but in a deeper more creepy way! The rabbit hole used in many life events and drama these days, a "hole" new meaning! No pun, okay a little one.


*Fairy3* Conventions That Inspired Me *Fairy3*


I love Kyrielle Sonnet Form Poetry and have written a few myself. In any kind of poetry our choice of words, punctuation give a tone and a voice to our work. I loved this little trip down the rabbit hole as you enhanced it many conventions. Allowing the reader to feel there is an escape from anguish, hurt and pain. The thought of not being able to leave gives me a sense of mind glitch. The poet seems to be exploiting this place of magic where there are no rules and an illusion of a wondrous Wonderland.


*Rabbit* Conventions *Rabbit*


Imagery

I love this element in this poem because it gave me an image of fun, crossing the line and allowed me to imagine all the wonderful things in this glorious place below.

Alliteration

Welcome to wondrous Wonderland,

A great example of alliteration here where the writer uses repetition of consonant sound is a series of words in one sentence. I see this in other places as well within the poem.

Assonance

Again similar to alliteration this is the use of vowel sounds repeated within a sentence.

rhyme

Throughout this piece there is a repetition of final sounds that create rhyme allowing to convey a voice and tone for the reader.

Rhythm

A great pattern throughout following a meter giving a beat as I read this piece.


*Bird* Over All Thoughts *Bird*

I really enjoyed this poem as It gave me a sense of magic where nobody could get to me. The invite was inventive with a touch of "it will blow your mind" effect.

Nicely Written and Happy Anniversary!!!!

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Review of To the Rescue  Open in new Window.
Review by ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Write_Mikey_Write! Author IconMail Icon } This is ~Lifelessons~ Author IconMail Icon Let's Celebrate your 6 years of "The Contest ChallengeOpen in new Window. This is amazing and that is a long time!! So Congratulations!!!*ConfettiB**ConfettiB* *BalloonB*

*Gem* *Gem* *Gem* *Gem*


*BookOpen* The Read *BookOpen*



What a great story! I love faeries and the whole idea that they exist. If I were a kid and my grand mother told me that.. wow! Thrilling as a kid and some of us older ones..lol...

*Fairy* Structure *Fairy*


I really enjoyed the setting in this story, as it is very suiting for the theme. The Characters were strong as well as dialogue. I felt a real conversation here that held a tone of excitement.

There wasn't a great amount of action, rising action, conflict or resolution. That's okay because in it's own way it did just not in a fast pace sense.

Sentences were clear without mistakes that I picked up. I really was taken in by the story and nothing popped out at me so to speak.

The end was great as I didn't expect a faerie to be in the cottage and grandma could hear what it was saying..cute spin.

All in all this was a nice feel good story. I enjoyed it very much.
Congratulations on your 6 years of participating with "The Contest ChallengeOpen in new Window.

Keep Writing!!

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