I know this is a short story, but I could see this fleshed longer, with some back-story may be even book length. I really did like the twist in the middle. I would like to recommend a book on writing that i recently finished reading myself - "Stephen King, On Writing". His book has some simple, easy to remember, writing style tips that I have really taken and run with. I'm not even a Steven King junkie (this is the only book of his I have read).
The only negative thing I will say about your story is more just a pet peeve of mine in all types of writing. It is the repeated use of words, if a writer uses the same action or descriptor word too close together it bothers me. You only did it once or twice, but that is the only criticism I will give.
I really did like the twist.
Rachel Pryce
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lightiningeyes
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 9:15am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
