I Honestly loved this poem because it really touched me and I wish that there were more people out there that believed the message that you are sending. you used the perfect words to describe exactly how you felt and it really painted a picture in my mind.
You truly have a way with words. you caught my attention from the very beginning of your piece of work. the choice of descriptive words you chose went really well together and painted a really nice picture for me to actually be able to see what you wanted me to see as i read through your piece of work. The message was clear as i read. i only wondered whether or not the young girl actually died or if she was just dreaming about the death. I think that if you choose you could add more to this beautiful piece of work and make it longer or even into something more.
What you have here is a really great start. keep up the good work
You have a wonderful way of being able to describe the image you are wanting to portray to your reader. the words you use painted a very real image for me to be able to see from the changing of the season from winter to spring. Not only could i visualize what you were trying to say it was almost as if i could feel the change from winter to spring as the temperature begins to change. i got all that just from the descriptive words that you were able to bring together. thank you for letting me read this piece you truly do have a way with words, keep up the good work
Love the idea behind the image you are truly trying to portray to your readers. I think that it was brave of you to put your faith out here like you did because not many people would have the guts to do what you did so I do give you major props for that alone. You also use very descriptive words throughout the piece of work which allows the reader to visualize the image that you want the reader to be able to see. keep up the great work and i look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
I'm not sure of the message you were trying to give, but the image from the very descriptive words you used through out the poem put a very vivid image in my mind. you have a very good talent at making things flow because the words you used went right from one to the next and i could see them as the image you wanted me to see them as.
I really love the flow if the poem. Everything is very clear and the message you are truly trying to give is actually understandable. You use very descriptive words that really helps the reader see the image you are trying to pain the their mind. Keep up the good work I really did enjoy this.
It was a great start i believe with what you have that you can develop this into something bigger tyan what you have its very goos so far hopefulky theres more to come
This is a great piece or art. You can tell that thought and a lot of time has and was put into this writing. I reallyblike the ending of each lone i feel the waybyou did the end of the lines makes this poem really unique and different than others ove read. It really makes the poem.stand out
Its a really good poem. I thnk it co y ld benefit from more descriptive details to paint an image in the readers mind but you did a great job with allowing the reader to be able to feel the emotions
This story is a real pieace or artwork. You did a great job on your grammer, ounchuation and spelling.however, most importantly i feel you did a grejob with the descriptive details that you provided. I was actually able to see the image you painted as well as could feel the emotions behind your words. I wish there had been a happiee ending but you still did a great job.
Love the plot cant wait to see what happens next. The only thing i recommend is to make sure you check for spelling errors and maybe try and use more descriptive details
I think this poem has great potential. I do think that after i get lost you could put into directly after lost or a comma directly lost amd start the line mesmerizing trance with A other than thay i think all you need to do is to edit amd revise it and maybe add a little more feeling to it that shows you understand what love is while you try to paint a picture for readers who might not know the true meaning of love
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