I like the use of first person in this story, because it allows me to feel what Marie is feeling and to empathise with her. I particularly liked the twist at the end - it was very unexpected, yet upon rereading, I can see that it was hinted at vaguely all along.
In the final sentence, I would suggest using commas and a hyphen: 'Then, in a cautious half-whisper I had never heard before, she asked:'
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