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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lionsden
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5 Public Reviews Given
0 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of How Could You?  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Sister, You said it the way it needs to be heard. I will pray that it's received, with conviction! My prayers to you and your son. Be strong and courageous, living one day at a time, changing what you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
It sure does have that Country Music flare.
Good job.
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Nmeil, I enjoyed reading this short story,that's after I found out about the accident. I was lost in the first five lines, which are good but I think they are in the wrong order. Try starting with line 6-9 then put in lines 1-5. I believe it will keep your readers interest more focus.
I hope this helps you, this is only my second review. Keep Writing, and re-Writing.
Your friendly reviewer, Daniel
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Review of Run Away  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.0)
Sophie, I am Daniel and I am writing my first review. I noticed that you are sincere in your experience. And I am glad to see you expressing your feelings, Keep Writing . Now I pray that you will take the time to check your spelling and the flow. I believe that this is a poem. One suggestion in the flow of words (and there are others) is where I read: under this pretty girls face, to make it flow in a poem sometimes use the same words but rearrange them. Example: under this girl's pretty face.
Hope I have been encouraging. I see a lot of potential.
Happy Writing, Your reviewer friend, Daniel
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