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Review by Lisztgrieg Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I like your word choice, though I'm not sure how much I like the analogy of nature relaxing like a new mother. Do new mother's relax? What imagery are you trying to achieve by using that analogy? Perhaps you could expand it to say "like a new mother whose child is calmly resting after she cooed it to sleep."

The soaring butterflies intrigue me because in my mind butterflies only flutter, but birds and planes soar.

The last paragraph seems a little disconnected from the rest. It jolts you into a different style.
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