\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/louiebt
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of The Ice Lake  Open in new Window.
Review by Louis Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
First off, Cheers! I'm very new at writing reviews, I'll try and be constructive as possible.

I like prose a lot. I usually only write short prose stories like this one.

You do well at projecting the internal struggle of the Author, being trapped under ice, fighting to escape, succeed.

However, paragraphs like this,

"My body stops with a sudden jolt, against something hard and cold. Horror quickly turns to despair, as I realize that the hard substance trapping me underneath here is ice. Freezing, unforgiving ice. I try hard to break through, pressing my hand against it. With an icy chill, a torrent of emotions and memories race through me. Painting the sad picture of what got me here, I realize where I am. I created this place. A shield against the passions of life. A wave of bitter sadness washes over my battered soul, as the realization of my imprisonment becomes clear. Despite the futility of my actions, I continue to hit and bang at the ice. I can't stay here. I just can't..."

Instead of telling me that emotions and memories come to you, show me that they do. Are you crying? Screaming? Remembering better days? Worse days?

Those are my only criticisms. Other than that, good job!

Look forward to reading more.


1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/louiebt