Oh, another hopeless romantic! I read several of your Poems. I love them all. I think "Sands" is my favorite! I enjoyed how you paint (with words) descriptions like--
" each breeze caressing my cheeks." Thanks for sharing these little bits and pieces of yourself with readers like myself. Keep writing!!
Hello, my name is Maci and I'm reviewing your story:
"Broken Girl"
What drew me here? The title caught my eye and the description hooked me.
My Favorite Part: The whole poem tugged at my heart. I have been there too. But, like they say you never know how string you are until you have to be string. My guess is you already know how strong you are. This will serve you well as your life goes on.
Overall Impression: The fact that you are writing this says you are much stronger then you thought. This poem is very well written. Very heartfelt and honest. I hope to read many more items from you. Hang in there!
Disclaimer: I am just one. There are many out there more polished than me. You would be one of those. Therefore, feel free to use what you feel helpful and please disregard the rest.
Departing words
Thank you so much for sharing this by putting this out here for people like me to read. It has truly been an honor to read,rate and review this for you. God Bless!
Hello, my name is Maci and I'm reviewing your story:
" Together and Finally Whole"
What drew me here? The title caught my eye but the short description hooked me!
My Favorite Part: I loved the whole thing! It told a great story and I wish you both the best
Overall Impression: The story is well told. It was smooth to read. I saw no mistakes.
Disclaimer: I am just one. There are many out there more polished than me. You would be one of those. Therefore, feel free to use what you feel helpful and please disregard the rest.
Departing words Having someone who shares your love for God is a great Starting point. Almost as good as starting with a starter home for you already have a great foundation to build on! I really enjoyed your poem. It is heartfelt and I think it is well done!
Thank you so much for sharing this by putting this out here for people like me to read. It has truly been an honor to read,rate and review this for you. God Bless!
Hello, my name is Maci and I'm reviewing your story:
"Where Has Our North Star Gone? "
What drew me here? I saw your story on the shameless plug page. The title and the short description drew me in.
My Favorite Part: I could fall into this story as if it were a movie. The way you describe everything that is going on in this smoothly written story is just plain wonderful. My hat is off to you for that!
Overall Impression: I sure can identify with the Mother being the "North Star" what a beautiful tribute to motherhood.
Disclaimer: I am just one. There are many out there more polished than me. You would be one of those. Therefore, feel free to use what you feel helpful and please disregard the rest.
Departing words Welcome to writing. com! I am pretty new here, as well. I have been a member since Dec 2016 but didn't do anything on here until May of this year. If you have any questions I can help you with feel free to email me! I hope you find this place as warm and inviting as I have.
Thank you so much for sharing this by putting this out here for people like me to read. It has truly been an honor to read, rate and review this for you. God Bless!
Hello, my name is Maci and I'm reviewing your story:
"Change or distortion"
What drew me here? I was drawn in by the name and after reading the first two sentence I was hooked!
My Favorite Part: I have to say that I liked and agreed with the whole article. Besides those first two sentences..."Believing, manipulation of ideas which has now implemented in the name of CHANGE, ends up pertinently as DISTORTION. This is not only ending the efficacy of humans, but also depriving the word "Change"." And this part really hit home to me..."Sadly, today, youth is either innocently or willingly following it closely. They want to become fruitful in a blink of eye, but they never see the efforts and years of dedication behind that particular work. They want to be fruitful but don't want to be part of shear diligence. Putting less efforts and evaluating externally driven desire to limitless. They, somehow, manage to trap into state of DISTORTION."
Overall Impression: I believe that this subject needs to be talked about more often. The time for this discussion is now! Before the chance to correct ourselves is gone forever! This article was a smooth read. I did not see any mistakes or any break in the flow.
Disclaimer: I am just one. There are many out there more polished than me. You would be one of those. Therefore, feel free to use what you feel helpful and please disregard the rest.
Departing words We have fallen into the habit of expecting everything to be acceptable to everyone. Where in this world is that something that is real and works? I mean the laws and the criminal can't both be right! We have snowballed for a generation of "I want it now " to a generation of "I want it now but I want to control the narrative as to how I get it and what I can do with it." Never mind the history --- let's rewrite that or ignore any of it that isn't "politically correct". Nowadays politically correctness is an excuse to ignore and muddy up all that had co-existed so far in our sociality. We have made and learned from many mistakes. We are in no way a perfect sociality. Our history can not be swept away by ripping up our past and choking out our future!
As a grandmother I worry about what my grandchildren are being taught or not being taught in school. Will the fine line between "Change or distortion" ever be present and accepted again?
Thank you so much for sharing this by putting this out here for people like me to read. It has truly been an honor to read, rate and review this for you. God Bless!
Hello, my name is Maci and I'm reviewing your story: Hi My name is Maci and I just read your wonderful story... "Mourning's Twilight1"
What drew me here? The title caught my eye and the description Hooked me.
My Favorite Part: Has to be the part where her father shows up looking young at first but sad.
Overall Impression:As a parent I can not even pretend to know what pain a parent goes through when they have a child that is "different" in such a constant way. That has to so very hard to deal with. With the constant emotional roller coaster. A bundle of unanswered questions and fears and maybe even regrets.
Disclaimer: I am just one. There are many out there more polished than me. You would be one of those. Therefore, feel free to use what you feel helpful and please disregard the rest.
Departing words I think this story flowed well. I did not see anything that made me stumble or have to backtrack. I enjoyed the story. I think that you did a very fine job in taking the reader into the night with you! Well Done and thanks for sharing!
Hello, my name is Maci and I'm reviewing your story Guardians of the Earth
What drew me here? The Title stirred my interest. Right away I thought
of "Star Wars" But when I started reading it. Your words kept me there. My Favorite Part: Hands down the imagery of this story is well done !
Overall Impression: I am new here, and for me to write a short
story I write down three words on a piece of paper and space them on the page.
On the top I write Beginning (this is where the writer sets the stage leading into the heart of the story. The build up! This story has done that quite well.
In the middle of the page, I put Meat or heart- this is where I put what
makes the story. If I take this part and reread it, I usually name my story from my first and lasting impression of this section of the story. Then I ask myself. Does the title match my story and does my description tell others what the story is all about.? Does yours?
Toward the bottom of the page, I write Sum it up. This part brings the
story "full circle." Sometimes it states the reason for the story. Here I bring
closure.(example; Picture blowing up a balloon if you tie a knot in it the air stays. If
you let go of the balloon (story) before tying it... Then what happens?)
These things for me have to have consistency. So I read It out loud and look for
inconsistencies. In your story is the Mother -"Mum" or " Mom?" Choose one. Little things like that. I look at imagery details.. are they consistence? In your story toward the beginning you said " live in an apartment six stories up," later in the
story you write... "started towards the elevator. We're almost 20 stories up," Do you see what I a mean?
I struggle with grammar so. I do not review on grammar. But, you need to always
capitalize the word "I"!
Disclaimer: I am just one. There are many out there more polished than me.
Therefore, feel free to use what you feel helpful and please disregard the rest.
Departing words I think this story has all kinds of potential! I
believe you stopped too soon.
For example. Go on... tell what happened to the couple in the park? What happened to the boy in the store? What happened to you?
Read it out loud to yourself as if you are a school teacher grading a paper. LOL, I would enjoy seeing you continue with this story. Take this beautiful start and dream big. The directions you can take this story are limited only by YOU! Please don't give up on it. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.
Keep writing! Maci
P.S, Please do not let the 2 1/2 stars get you down. I look forward to revisiting and increasing them!
Hello, my name is Maci and I'm reviewing your story (Title) What Am I? What drew me here? I think the title is grabbing My Favorite Part: I ejoyed the part where he “got the Girl” lol Overall Impression: Thids Story is very well put together. It flowed well. The imagery was right on the mark making it easy to see. Disclaimer: I am just one. There are many out there more polished than me. You would be one of those. Therefore, feel free to use what you feel helpful and please disregard the rest. Departing words I saw that this is chapter 1. The way you left your opitions open was well done. At the same time you, left it in a way that the reader will no doubt turn the page and continur on to Chapter 2, Thanks for sharing this with me. I enjoyed the story and can't wait to see where it leads. Maci
Ha Ha how witty! I bet this was a fun one to write! Took me back in time! Whatever happened to the Pointer Sisters anyway. Oh well they are probably in their late 70's rockin' in out in a rockin' chair somewhere. Sorry, about that rabbit hole I just took you through. I bet this won a contest or two. I just love it! Thanks for sharing! Maci
Please do not be offended that I am giving you back the 375 gps. It is not intended to be an insult. I feel that it was such a pleasure to read that I should pay you.
What a wonderful story! So full of emotion and well written. God can kick cancer's butt!!!! I think that prayer and God are the only true cure to any crazy illness like this. I cried sad and happy tears with this piece. Well done and thank you so much for sharing! Maci
oh I feel your pain! Been there and done that! yes, even sleep walking. And I figure I have gain and lost 4 of myself in my life time. I think a lot of people can identify with this piece. I really enjoyed it! Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful poem! Maci
This is a cool trip you take the reader on. From salty tears to the stars! I love it. I did see just one little boo-boo. on the 2nd line in the 2nd verse "The guilt and confusion inside cannot denied. I think you might have meant to put the word cannot be denied. Other than that I think this piece flowed well. I liked the message. Thank you for sharing this. Maci
I love baseball so the title pulled me in and the well written story kept me there. Am I mistaken or was it a foul ball that broke the window? That's how I read it. I loved the fact that Mom knew how to calm his nerves and make him instantly at ease. I thank you for sharing this wonderful story! Maci
What a wonderful, wonderful story! I enjoyed every word. I hope you "like Mitch" never give up your writing. You are gifted! I had to smile when I read that Mitch "was always on the phone, never actually talking to anyone." I have done that when I didn't want to be bothered. Thanks for sharing this. Maci
what a cool visual. I have not seen many Haiku sonnet but this is very well written. In fourteen sentences you told quite a story. Makes one wonder if the dog woke you on purpose to witness the crime. I really enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing. Well Done! Maci
wow what an impact this has on the reader. Reminding us to never leave things unsaid. Never pass a chance to smile or just reach out an touch someone you love. Sometimes words need not be said. But, there are times like this situation in the poem the only thing that would have made a difference is the words you never got to say. This poem touched my heart deeply. Thank you for sharing it. Maci
I am so thankful that you are a survivor. I have to cancer stinks. There are so many people that I know who has had or has cancer. I thank God that He has saved you from it. I like this poem even though the c word makes me want to run. I think the poem flowed well. I did not see any mistakes. Thank you for sharing this. Maci
This is brilliantly written. The flow is wonderful almost like a song. What an encouraging piece. I really enjoyed it... every line. The rhyme priceless. I can not point to one part I like more then than the other because it all fits so well together.
Well Done! Maci
He sounds like a "special little man," indeed! I used to sit with a child just like Braxten. It sure can be trying. I understand completely about the good days and bad days. I sat with him at his house in order not to disrupt his day. I can not imagine how frustrating it must be for them. They are God's little angels teaching us how to be patience and kind. May God Bless you all! Maci
What a unique way to look at life and at the same time so very true. I never thought of it like this before but after reading it I feel a little foolish for never making the connection. I also am not good at ping pong. But your ending summed it all up wonderfully...
"I’m not too good at Ping Pong,
But I can take a deep breath and feel very fortunate
To have played.
Because one must breathe and feel lucky sometimes!" Thanks for sharing this! Maci
Wow I bet you don't tick off too many people lol. I like how you disappointment and anger rushed off the page at me. I had to check to see if I didn't have Icing on my face. Well done! I did not see any mistakes. I enjoyed it very much. Thank you for sharing. Maci
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I bet this was a fun one to write! Took me back in time! Whatever happened to the Pointer Sisters anyway. Oh well they are probably in their late 70's rockin' in out in a rockin' chair somewhere. Sorry, about that rabbit hole I just took you through. I bet this won a contest or two. I just love it! Thanks for sharing! Maci