Interesting concept.the flow of the words are good. I cannot help but wonder what the person being described was actually doing or rather being helped to do. Good effort and nice conclusion.
As I started to read I felt my emotions changing as the story progressed. The feelings of the women seemed to beckon me to stay with them. I too have been raped on three occasions and knew the pain well. You have done a very good job of describing the different levels of processing the event. I to in the end forgave the men.
This is a very clever description of not only Siamese cats but of cats everywhere. I can tell by your writing that you keep an eye on your cats as I do mine. I could visualize the movements and the moods of your feline family members. Nice work.
Good effort. It was kind of hard to follow the sequence of events. They seemed to be no real break between scenes. a little more detail as to the chores they needed to complete and maybe some conversation between the children and parents would be good. But a good start just more details would help the reader follow easier.
What a great use of colors.I could actually see all of the different flowers as you described them. I was sad when the butterfly's came near. I do love butterflies. Thanks for a glimpse of their world. Good job.
Every good use of varying descriptive words. I could feel the pain and remorse for the loss. The theme was unusual but became clearer as the poem progressed.
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