I really loved the story overall. The transitions between Henry and his qareen flowed very smoothly and seemed natural. It really helped to add to the mood of the story. The only part that felt a bit clumsy was the role of the wizard. He seemed a bit unrealistic and his diction did not always fit with the character I believe you were trying to portray. It was a bit too modern for me--which may have been the intent. Just make sure that whether or not this is the intent, that comes across through your writing. Overall, though, it was a joy to read!
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