Ben, firstly thank you for reading my work and taking the time to review it. I like your style of writing. The fact that you are writing from experience and that you are telling a story drew me in. I am sorry I could not read the whole work, but what I did read I did enjoy. You painted a picture for each scene and I was able to imagine what you were describing. My only suggestion is that you show me, and not tell me everything.
For example, when you described yourself, your looks, and your hair, maybe you could have set it more into the story instead of writing it like a work report.
Maybe, you could be with a woman who is sizing up your looks, or running her fingers through your gray and silver hair. I think in a novel you have more room to play, but in short fiction, less is better. I hope to read more of your work in the future. Good luck.
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