The description of the landscape was good. But it seemed to meander and didn't give a clear structure to the plot for me. The ruins of the houses confused me, at first being a small hamlet, but that was a hundred years ago, and then talking about how the houses were used as animal shelters.
It does convey a sense of loneliness, but I don't understand why the person is alone, or refuses to leave.
If you mean to leave it up to the reader if the narrator is a ghost or something else then well done.
Brilliant description of depression (or at least that was how it came across to me). Like a demon sneaking up on someone tripped by a tragedy. At the same time it was actually so dark being that had captured her. I was a little confused at the point where it was making faces at her in the mirror.
The descriptions were terrific, the basic destination of the story was good, but it could be refined. A clearer end to what the thing wanted from Hope. Also that it was writing as it died was a tad confusing, I would have just let it be the last shreds of consciousness trying to keep itself together by retelling the story of its last victim to itself. (just a suggestion)
That was a great hook. I would like a little more description of the house they were in, like was the couch gaudy, was there carpet, etc. The description of the memories was great, linking the red together, hinting at blood. Would also like more description of Henry's physical appearance in the mirror.
Sad story about the child's grandmother. It projected his confusion and boredom well. I was confused at first about the cotton, but I guess you mean the cocoons the caterpillars weave, not sure about "the ride" part.
I did like the part about the butterflies going free, like it was his grandmother's soul being freed from her body to fly.
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