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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mckyle9423
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8 Public Reviews Given
15 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Poppies Fall  Open in new Window.
Review by Kyle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I absolutely love your extended metaphor here. It's brilliant. The deepness of the poem is also excellent; it's a very easy poem to delve into, getting father than the surface (although nothing about the poem is complicated.) This is a terrific piece.
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Review of The Photograph  Open in new Window.
Review by Kyle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It's an overall really nice piece. However, I did notice a few things.

"It would be several hours before the sun burnt the vapors off allowing the warming rays to engulf us"

This sentence seemed slightly confusing to me, I asked "What vapors?" for a while.

"and the scenery was bland as hell. "


I think it'd sound better without "as hell."

". He asked our address so he could send a copy of the picture after he developed it. "


He asked FOR our address.


Just a couple of things I noticed. Keep writing!
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Review of Voodoo Madness  Open in new Window.
Review by Kyle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
You capture the spooky and evil theme perfectly - and without it being fake or corny! I especially liked the "all of you deserve to lose" line, it was great (and, to be honest, I laughed a little at it. Is that wrong? =P (Wasn't laughing at your writing, but rather at the topic of the poem.))
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