Cubbee, I could feel the pain and suffering in this poem, but also the hurt and missed opportunities. Saying goodbye to a loved one is hard, but to one who has lost sight of life is even harder. Thank you for sharing.
Why I read your poem: It was a random selection from writing.com
What I liked: The story that it told
What I would change: ...as she gently
lay (laid) a red rose
Recommendation: Keep writing
Dave, this is absolutely beautiful. It is simplistic, well-written, and tells the story. Thank you for sharing.
Why I read it: It was a random selection by writing.com
What I liked: Everything -- the story, the writing, and the message
What I would change: Nothing
Recommendations: None
Tim Chiu, good Sunday morning to you. I just finished reading "Love, Celebrate, and Be Positive" and wanted to share my thoughts.
Thank you for taking the time to write about love in a world that has become a place where hate reigns supreme. Love will conquer all when and if given a chance.
Each of us must practice loving one another every minute of every day.
Hats off to you.
Why I read your poem: It was a random selection by Writing.com.
What I liked about it: It addresses a subject matter that means a lot to me and one that I believe is critical to our world's survival.
What I would change: Nothing.
Recommendations: None.
Tim Chiu, your poem is the second one I read today. The first one, I did not get, understand, nor understand the author's intent. So, I could not rate it.
On the other hand, Yours seemed to tell two stories depending on where the reader, me, is coming from. My daughter's coworker recently died on the job, and that was my first thought when reading your poem.
My second thought was that several of your coworkers were terminated, laid off, or fired and were more competent than those left behind. So, my rating went with this take on the poem rather than my first impression.
With that in mind, thank you for sharing.
Why I read it: It was a random selection.
What I liked: The brevity of the story.
What I would change: The title and the description line.
Recommendations: None other than the above.
Rhychus, I have at least one son and three grandsons that could relate you and the big hair. As kids growing up, I would not allow them to grow their hair. I personally cut my son's hair for years. Took the grandsons to the barber. Then, one day, they all rebelled and grew their hair as long as it would grow. Eventually, three gave up and cut theirs, but one has retained his locks, and they are half as long as he is tall, and he is 6'2!!!
A great story told in your poem, and as you can see, I can relate. Thank you for writing and sharing.
Why I read it: It was a random selection by writing.com.
What I liked: The entire story told by the poem!
What I would change: NOTHING.
Recommendation/suggestion: NONE.
Red_rose_Mike, now that was a story -- to the point, short, sweet, and a major kicker for the imagination -- eaten by the sharks -- a complete guilt trip with no redeeming characteristics. I am at wow. Thank you for sharing.
Why I read it: It was a random selection by writing.com.
What I liked: Everything.
What I would change: Nothing.
Recommendations/suggestions: None.
Ridinghhood-p.boutilier, thank you for sharing. Decades ago, I celebrated Christmas in Florida, and my experience was quite different back then. We had a Christmas tree, but there were no deliveries of any kind on Christmas Day. If it was not already under the tree, it was not coming.
Why I read it: It was a random selection by writing.com.
What I liked: You were able to tell a story in 100 words, even though I had some trouble with some of the words.
What I would change: I would probably not use the word structure used to stay within the 100-word confinement.
Suggestions: Maybe edit and reword to fit the 100-word limit without the current word structure.
Showering Dutchessbarbie, I recommend this poem as the theme poem of Writing.com. For me, Writing.com provides all of this and more. Thank you for taking the time to write this and to share it.
What I liked: The title, the messages within the poem, and the truth that pops out at you.
Why I read it: It was a random selection from writing.com
What I would change: Nothing
Recommendations/suggestions: None.
TheBusmanPoe, you just validated my point about writing poems -- everything is up for grabs when writing poetry. Loved "January!" Thank you for sharing it.
Why I read it: It was a random selection from Writing.com
What I liked: The total presentation and treatment of the month of January
What I would change: Nothing
Recommendations/Suggestions: None
StellaAmbrose, the cost of fame, whether a superstar, congressman, governor, mayor or whatever title that constantly puts you before people in every walk of life. Fame takes away your privacy and forever makes you vulnerable to almost everything. It's not an easy place in life, and sometimes, it's not asked for even though you find yourself there. Thank you for sharing, and yes, I can relate.
Why I read it: It was a random selection by Writing.com.
What I liked: The inside look at what it cost to be a superstar or person of fame.
What I would change: Nothing
Recommendation: None
Ayobami pen, welcome to Writing.com. I hope that you will find as much joy here as I have. Thank you for sharing your writing. It tells the story of a broken heart that can't find happiness by walking in the rain to hide the tears.
Why I read it: It was a random selection by Writing.com
What I liked: It was about lost love and being able to cope
Suggestions/Recommendations: Check spelling, and rewrite, e.g., your description -- "Erotic feeling it's (maybe it's is not needed) a poem that explain (explains) how a guy after (delete after) he was being jilted by hisblover (separate his lover)
I am terrible at grammar and punctuation, so I use Grammarly. I also know that 90 words can be hard to write a good descriptor, but it forces you to work to stay within the guidelines. Do not compromise your work. Writing is a gift to be worked on daily.
Naomi, I LOVE "GRATEFUL HEART!" Thank you for writing and sharing this beautiful piece of writing.
Why I read it: I was going through your portfolio, and there it was.
What I liked: The entire poem, style, and all.
What I would change: Second to the last line, R emember: To say (thanks) for what is given
Thankful Somali Loves Dad, thank you for writing and sharing your tale.
Why I read it: A random selection from Writing.com
What I liked: It is written in green, has humor, and kept me wondering what was the gift?
Suggested change: There was a curly-haird (haired) girl-- limit the number of contracted words, and maybe rewrite a few of the sentences.
The suggested change or my thoughts for you to consider. It's your story, and my reactions.
Noorulhaya, WOW! As you have expressed in this short poem, I have always thought of words very much the same. However, I associated the words with a sharp tongue that shows itself pretty much as a two-edged sword swinging back and forth. WOW! Thank you for sharing your words about words in this manner.
Why I read this?: It was a random selection that came from Writing.com.
What I liked?: The truth of the words in the poem and how they were clustered.
What would I change?: The ending. I felt that it should have ended on a more positive note, but of course, it is your poem, your feelings, and your writing, and I respect the place you were coming from with this.
Winkett in the woods, I felt your pain in this writing. I felt your having given up with the struggle that has no end in sight. I can only imagine the love, the hurt, the fright, and yes, the pain of watching your son's struggle. Through it all, I felt you, the mother.
Why I read it: Random selection by writing.com
What I liked: The entire presentation
What I would change: NOTHING
Recommendations: None
Sumojo, I loved this poem. Loved it, loved it. I've known little boys and girls like that, especially at the end of summer, and school was coming up fast.
Why I read it: It was a random selection made better because of the author, YOU!
What I liked: The authenticity of the story. You can almost see the little boy talking with his mother in his most sincere face and voice, asking for a reprieve.
What I would change: Not a word.
Recommendations: None
Lou-Here by His Grace, thank you for sharing this beautifully described picture. I can almost see you as you hold it in your hands and smile.
I have a few pictures I turn to for memories of days gone by, family or friends that brought me joy, and even one or two that make me cry.
Why I read it: It was a random selection from Writing.com
What I liked: The description, the adjectives, and definitely the presentation
Recommendations: None
JCosnosm, thank you for sharing this short story about the Coconut Cleanse for writer's cramps. I had to read it twice to get an inkling of what it was about and the eventual outcome. The second read was a charm.
Why I read it: It was a random selection by Writing. com
What I liked: It was short and helped me keep my reviewing streak going.
Recommendation: Add just a little more information in the description section. I would also put the prompt that you are writing from at the top of the entry to guide the reader.
Overall: Well done. Not read for grammar or punctuation.
Akkeri, thank you for sharing. I enjoyed the read and the manner in which the poem was presented.
Why I read: It was a random selection by Writing.com, and I have promised to go back to reviewing writings by other authors.
What I liked: The unique poem presentation.
What I would change: Nothing.
I did not read or review this piece for grammar or presentation format.
Nfdarbe (Propersous Snow Happy 2024), I love the fact that you have a collection of poems that your mother wrote. For me, that is a WOW! My mother was an avid spiritualist, and she wrote all of her comments, thoughts, etc., in her Bible. When she passed, one of my children took the Bible, and I have never seen it since. I stopped thinking about it and was proud that one of the children wanted it and would take good care of it.
I particularly like this one:
"Today is the day to change things,
the day to look at things differently.
When things aren't going
the way on thinks they should,
it's time to look at things a different way,
and take a different approach."
I also have those moments of clarity when I know it is time to change. -- first sentence.
You know when things are not going how they should, and you should look for a different way or approach.
Thank you for sharing. I would add the (e) on one in parenthesis to make that sentence clear and note that it was changed/corrected.
"Our Little Corner of the World" is a thought-provoking piece that I, too, have had a few rounds within my lifetime. Yes, why am I here? Lord, what would you have me do, and the list goes on, but then, God speaks, and I listen.
We are all here for His purpose and for His good. The question is, will we be obedient, obey, and carry out His commands? My answer is yes, Lord, let thy will be done in my life for your purpose(s).
I loved your piece, and thank you for sharing it.
What I liked: The thought-provoking questions at the beginning of the passage.
Why I read it: It was the first piece I came across in your portfolio, and I liked the title.
What I would change: Nothing
Recommendations: Keep on expressing and sharing your relationship and light with others.
NOTE: I did not review for grammar, spelling, errors, etc.
You and I have something in comma(s) that plagues the rest of the world -- finding confidence in commas.
An excellent way to share. Thank you.
What I liked: I liked the poem format and the truth in the poem.
What I would change: There is nothing I would change, and I will reread it.
Recommendation: Keep on working with those commas. They serve a purpose.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.15 seconds at 9:25am on Dec 02, 2024 via server WEBX1.