This little girl overcame many obstacles in her life. Rejection and abandonment are two hard rows to walk down and sometimes it takes a lifetime to forgive those who did them wrong. But forgive those who rejected us, we must do and we must especially forgive ourselves because we often feel we are responsible. I am a Christian and I never walk alone. The Lord always walks with me and he promised never to leave me or forsake me.
Mom and dad, sister and brother can leave, but not God. I'm an old woman and I've walked with the Lord a long time.
I love your poem, but I just had to add that none of us need to walk alone. That is why Jesus came down and dwelt among us as God in human flesh. We write what is in our hearts and it is very hard not to do that. You demonstrate a very brave young woman who is standing alone in your poem. It is a beautiful poem.
Definitely scary. Good content. I just lived through Megan's nightmare - right? Quite a few misspelled words, but you a definitely a writer. Keep writing.
If you wanted to make me cry - you did. Very sad. You misspelled almost every word in it, but you wrote a good story. I am sure Jamie was wondering where God is in all of this, but the Lord was right there beside her as she went through every miserable moment of her life. I like how you built it up to be a perfect Christmas for her and then you said again it would be a Christmas that she would never know.
Brighten up your next writing. You use very good description and that is a plus. Your writing flows well. You described her fainting like a pro. Hey, I'm a Newbie, what do I know about anything? Just telling you what I see. Can't wait to read your novel!
Love at first sight happens every day. It often last a lifetime. It would be foolish to ignore it.
I liked the way you wrote it. It moved very quickly. Now, go back and correct the spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. Please use a few paragraphs to keep me from getting lost in the lines.
Example: But fairy tales does not happen in real life.
But fairy tales do not happen in real life.
Good start to your book. I hope you catch up with her again and finish the book. Loved it.
You are an attention getter. Keep writing. A little bit of innocence and beauty in a charred mess that took the lives of 5 people. There is nothing more violent than a house fire and nothing more innocent than a page from a child's bed time story book. What contrast. I like your writing.
It is good, but instead of telling us someone is rich and her lifestyle is awesome, put this in words and describe the rich lifestyle that is awesome. You have plenty of conversation in your writing but very little description. I know young girls talk alot. I have 2 daughters and a granddaughter that just gave me a great granddaughter. Girls talk. Let us know what they see around them.
The last sentence is "Guys, we're here!" Diana's voice came front the front of the RV."
If you are going to mention where her voice came from then explain why you are even mentioning it.
I can't wait to hear about Grandma and Grandpa in Dark Shades #2.
It is a beautiful poem and it expresses your love toward God. God said, "what has been shall be" and this you related to. Jesus said we will be as He is. John wrote "In the beginning was the Word ... and the Word is God." I love the "Beauty without scars" because He said He would give us "beauty for ashes." And the Lord said that He is the Light of the world. Excellent.
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