I enjoyed your .story. It brings to mind advice I was given years ago - be careful of what you wish for because you may get it. I liked the way you made easy reading by using correct paragraphing. I found no errors. Well writtenl
The title reminds the reader of all the special things about winter which leads us to appreciate its wonders. I also know that it is not easy to write an acrostic poem of 17 lines while staying on the subject.
Now some suggestions :-
Line 1: I think another word would be better than 'quietly'
which is repetitious. Perhaps 'softly' would be better word here.
Line 3: Apostrophe after 'flakes'
Line 13: I would leave out the word 'small'. The rhythm seems better without it.
Line 16: I would hyphenate ' reenter' as re-enter but that may be a difference in local usage.
These are only suggestions from one struggling writer. The main thing is I enjoyed the poem.
Because this story is short, I found it difficult to emphasise with the characters: I don't know enough about them. It's a sad tale filled with death and disappointment and the main character is confused about supporting two opposing sides. I think you have basis for a larger fantasy story which would appeal to the reader.
I enjoyed your story for many reasons. Firstly, the characters were distinct and believable so that throughout I was involved with progress of the plot. The dialogue was natural and was used to move the story forward.
The writing was grammatically correct and I found no typos or spelling errors. Paragraphing was used to good effect. The final paragraph provided a satisfying conclusion.
I loved this poem. I am a knitter and enjoy the relaxation and productivity of the hobby but I had never thought of it in the lyrical, thoughtful way you have expressed it in this poem. I liked the depth conveyed by the empty spaces -- in knitting, as in life, the empty spaces enhance the whole.
We are so familiar with Biblical stories, that we have a reluctance to accept any other story about Jesus' life. However, this poem presents an incident which could well have happened and pays respect and is faithful to meaning of the gospel stories. I like the way the poem ended with a two-line summary and a striking one-line conclusion.
Having endured some very hot days lately; I was sorry for the little girl and felt sure her day was going to end badly. However, your unexpected and upbeat ending was satisfying for this reader. A good story.
I liked this little poem. It brings to mind my own gardening experiences. It has a sort of deadpan humor which makes the poem a little different as in "I'm harvesting dandelions" and a garden "full of happy little weeds".
I liked the atmosphere of this story. It's a story which you have to keep reading to the end.This will be a short review because I couldn't find anything that needed changing. Congratulations.
You have presented an article rich in fact which indicates that you have done a lot of research. My only criticism is that it would benefit, I think, by being broken up into shorter paragraphs to give the reader a slight pause to think about the large amount of information which you have provided.
It is an article which would repay further study by the reader
This should be required reading for everyone who has not experienced a severe mental illness. You have taken me into your world and expanded my understanding for which I thank you.. I admire your resilience and courage.
I enjoyed this poem for there were many positive aspects of life clearly pictured. The poem had so much depth that perhaps it warrants be made into two poems - a sort of duo - what you want of life and what you do to accept the truth which applies to all of us: "The truth will always be, / I was born to be ME"
There was so much about this poem I enjoyed. I could quote many lines but I'll be content to "fly into the sky and play in the clouds".
I like the way you chronicled Basil's deterioration. The story held my attention to the end. I wondered why you used a capital for oak tree but then I realised that it acted almost as a character in your story.
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